test taking (and broken computers)

This picture (from here) makes studying look so romantic...and dreamy. When in actuality I'm locked up in a sterile library with fluorescent lights glaring down from above, with so many mountains of books around me I feel like I will never dig my way out. I have to study in the library now...the fun and cozy cafes have an enticing creative energy that doesn't let me focus on medicine...I start thinking about color and form and art and inspiration...when I really need to stay uber focused. Oh...and I tend to eat too many warm fresh bagels... cookies... cupcakes.... lattes... etc. Hopefully such munchies will be avoided at the library. No food allowed.

I have my boards exam in a week.

Holy crap.

No blogging until it's over. None.

Please pray for me. Real hard. mmmK?

Like realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly hard.

*note: I'm writing this on my fiance's computer because MY computer broke yesterday. BROKE. Won't turn on. It experienced no trauma...no hydroplaning event like my car...it just died. How is it that in one week my car needs replacing and my effing computer? AND my boards are in a couple days!? Worst. Week. Ever. March has to be better.

skeleton leaves

Ahhhh! What a beautiful idea right? It would look so awesome to hang garlands of these leaves from the rafters above the dance floor...or to sprinkle them on the tabletops...or to wrap them around the mason jars with twine.

And they are cheap! 100 of these leaves are $3.99. Nice price. From Save On Crafts.

They are REAL leaves...preserved. So nifty.

our dreamy honeymoon

here.


Once we found out that our road tripping through the National Parks wasn't feasible with our insane schedule, we became a couple of brainstorming maniacs.

Things we wanted:

1. an American adventure
2. a place we had never been together
3. Preferably a place in our "top 3"*
3. 1 week long**
4. Southwest airlines hub***
5. 5 star digs****

SAN FRANCISCO here we come! This is a place that has been at the top of our list forever (and remarkably one of the only major cities in our nation that we haven't explored together.). This romantic city will soon have the coveted title of "our honeymoon spot." The first adventure we enjoy as a husband and wife team. A destination we can make repeat visits to throughout our lives. We will feel immediate and intimate connections when conversations turn to San Fran, or when movies/book/television shows take place there.

We are over the moon with excitement!

Note: It was tricky because the two of us have done so much travelling in our day that selecting a place we both hadn't been together was hard! San Francisco is literally one of the only cities that fit the bill!! So it's the perfect place for us. Oh. And this is where my parents honeymooned after their 1980 wedding...kinda cute....eh?

*"top 3" - we each have lists of the top places we want to experience...nationally and globally. When we compare our lists it is AMAZING how much they overlap! This helped us locate a dream destination - easy.

**1 week - this was our limiting factor and why a road trip simply won't suffice. I have no idea how long people typically go on honeymoons...but we literally only have 6 days....6 glorious magnificent days. Then it's moving time...where we pack up our respective cars and caravan out to our new home in upstate New York.

***Southwest Airlines - we have two round-trip tickets we have to use by September. Gotta love that. Free travel.

****Thanks to my Dad's generosity (and time share points!), we will be living like high rollers at a five star super lux resort. Ahhhhh!!!

^note: on Valentine's Day we made out way into a bookstore (big surprise there) and bought our first San Fransisco travel book...and then we cuddled together in the movie theater and began dreaming until the previews started.

our playlist

How cute is this moment!? They started an impromptu version of "Having The Time of My Life" via Sedona Bride.

For the last couple of years (I kid you not...years) everytime an awesome (or awful) song comes on the radio that Tommy and I both find ourselves bopping too, one of us will inquire:

"wedding song?"

We started keeping a lil list of songs we can't wait to jam to. It helps that our rad DJ gave us a big huge binder full of all the music he already has. However, I have a sneaking suspicion that when the day arrives, anything he plays will sound like "the best song ever!"

Unless it's "the Chicken Dance". Ummm....or "We Are Fam-i-ly" (I hate that song...dunno why.)

Still can't nail down a 1st dance tune though. We have a relationship playlist. There are so many songs that have woven their way into our life - except they tend to be rather obscure...and I think it would be nice to hear a song on the radio or a random movie and remember that as "our 1st dance song." You know? Am I thinking too much about this??

Oh. And my mom and sisters think it is a tragedy that we won't be taking dance lessons. Like. major fail. My poor mother was appalled when I told her that we would probably just sway with my hands around his neck, and his arms around my waist for our 1st dance.

It's not my fault we are too busy. And broke.

*note: about my car accident - the outpouring of love and concern from many of you was so very touching...thank you for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. The busted car situation will get worked out :-)

flower love (and a car crash)

Brion Hopkins


A new bloomin' love.
Just when I thought I knew what I wanted...this lil pretty walked into my life.
Details are so ridiculous.

*note: I was in a car accident this weekend...my first ever car accident. It was terrifying, and included hydroplaning in the rain on a major freeway in route to Phoenix. The pile up involved multiple cars...and thankfully we were all able to walk away...a lil shaky and teary...but no broken bones. Except, today I can't move my neck, so a trip to the doctor is next on my list of things to do. And every time I close my eyes I see/feel the car spinning into the cars ahead of me...needless to say I one tired girl.)

My car is shot and we will be selling her to a junkyard (so so so sad...I've had her for 12 years). Events like this change things. Budgeting for a new car is tricky when paying for your own wedding. What happens when the budget changes?

I'm feeling a little lost right now.

(Except Tommy and I get married in 97 days...and in knowing that, I don't feel so lost.)

love words weekend

One Love Photo

This is hard to say
Simply, because the words
Have grown so old together:
Lips and eyes and tears,
Touch and fingers
And love, out of love's language,
Are hard and smooth as stones
Laid bare in a streambed,
Not failing or fading
Like the halting speech of the body
Which will turn too suddenly
To ominous silence,
But like your lips and mine
Slow to separate, our fingers
Reluctant to come apart,
Our eyes and their slow tears
Reviving like these words
Springing to life again
And again, taken to heart,
To touch, love to begin.

David Wagoner

beth cyr - ring for haiti auction

Some people have really beautiful souls.

Like Beth Cyr...who is auctioning off one of her dazzling handmade rings to benefit Haiti.

Go bid. (you know you want it...and you want to keep helping Haiti...double whammy of rad.)

but you better hurry...it is an auction after all!

real life: flagstaff forest

I first saw this wedding at August & After via Glass and Plastic. Isn't it smile-inducing? It's a no-nonsense wedding...free from the frills that so many weddings of our time fabricate. It just looked like a wildly fun, highly personal and authentic experience for this couple and their comrades.

I love weddings that feel like a breath of fresh air. And since this took place in Flagstaff, you can be sure the air is mountain fresh.

dress pressure

There is so much hype to "find the perfect wedding dress." I've read that the average cost of a wedding dress in the US is around $1000. There are a ton of crazy fun things to do with $1000.

I already have a dress. A dress that cost me next to nothing. A dress that I still like. Though it is very simple.

Except people keep asking me:

"do you LOVE your dress!?"
"you have to LOVE your dress!"
"your dress sets the whole tone of the wedding!"
"your dress should be the focal point of the whole event!"
"your wedding dress should be the fanciest most glorious dress you ever wear!"

All this sh*t. OK. I get it.

But I don't believe that my dress is the most important part of the whole day.

I'll admit, I can sit and look at wedding dresses forever online...and fantasize about what I would look like in them. And I'm not going to lie, every now and then I get bummed out with dress regret (which I swear has to be normal because I talk to brides that deal with it all the time...even brides who have expensive designer dresses). And I start to wonder "what ifs" and "should I keep the one I've got or get a new one?" I swear I go to Elizabeth Dye's site, or Sarah Seven's, and lust after their exquisite creations. Of course I wish I had one of those divine hand crafted dresses! And then again, I also wish I had a car that wasn't held together with duck tape.

I think about what else I could do with the extra money if I keep the pretty dress I already have - we can invite more people! Or we can buy a new dining room table (or bed, or sofa, or TV - because when we move in June we aren't taking any furniture with us and have to buy all the goods when we get to where we are going). Or, I could buy a truck full of super glue and fix the panel on my car?

So I have to remind myself that a lux dress would be fun and glamorous - but I already have a dress.

Right.

*note: don't let this post offend you - if I had an extra 1K I would probably consider spending it on a drool worthy gown. Except I really don't have an extra Grand, or even an extra $500, so this post is mostly to make feel OK with my dress...not to make anyone feel bad about there's. There is just a lot of pressure out there to have the BEST dress, the most UNIQUE dress, the most GLAMOROUS dress. Maybe it's because I have this blog, and I'm putting the pressure on myself as I wonder how the world will judge me in my simple lil ivory frock. And the real question should be: why do I care? Because, really, I don't...well, a little I suppose. It's not like this blog is here to validate me as a bride, or to validate the loveliness of my wedding - the blog is to help me sort through the magical journey of preparing for marriage and to catalog my inspirations, thoughts, and drama along the way.

ENTER MY BLOGIVERSARY CONTEST HERE!

wedding wish wednesday: #26 mental prep

via Sarah Neal Photography

I don't think I've ever explained our schedule of events. Let me enlighten you:

May 1 - my last day of med school (oh.hell.yes....10 years has been enough thankyou.)
May 26th - Tommy's last day at the high school (sad face...he loooooves it there)
May 26 -29th - Tommy's bachelor party in Vegas (woot!)
May 30th - Wedding in Flagstaff!
June 4th - Graduation in Phoenix (become a doctor!)
June 6th - our lil honeymoon!
June 11th-17th - move to the northeast for residency (drive...3000 miles)
June 18th - get an apt...buy a bed...and chair or two...maybe a desk?*
June 23rd - residency begins (holy crap...)

Yikes.

With all the commotion of the wedding and graduation I need to mentally prepare for actually moving. For leaving the desert...my home...and my family. Whew. It's obviously a bittersweet time. I'm beyond excited about the adventure that our new home will bring...but I also feel sad to leave. My parents, sisters, friends...our lovely condo in midtown Phoenix...wearing flip flops daily.

We will be starting over. Completely over.

Side by side.

I'm pretty excited.

*I've mentioned before that we will be packing whatever can fit in our lil cars (maybe one car??)...no furniture...no appliances...only clothes and books (and wedding gifts!?) So when we finally arrive, we'll be moving into a space with ZERO furniture...not a bed to sleep on, a table to eat from, or a chair to even sit in. I am really counting on Craigslist.

ENTER MY BLOGIVERSARY CONTEST HERE!!

how i got my wedding dress

CELEBRATE MY BLOGIVERSARY BY ENTERING MIDORIDESIGN'S GIVE-AWAY HERE!

via here

OK. Normally I would never admit to this. But the story is so amusing, and makes me look so ridiculous, I just have to share. I consider myself an educated and practical woman, and have approached many decisions for our wedding with a rational eye. (Whether this is actually true is debatable, but it's how I view myself and my choices, so whatever.)

My dress. I bought it January 2007. I think. At this point it's been so long I can't exactly remember...but I think that's right. Ummmm...and if you remember...we got "engaged" June 2009. And our wedding...May 2010.

And yes, I know this makes me certifiably insane. I realize that I am opening myself up to ridicule...and that's fine...believe me...I probably deserve it for a move like that.

To be quite honest, at the time I bought it we had been talking about a beachy Rhode Island summer wedding. And if my memory serves me correctly (which it sometimes doesn't) I think we were even talking about getting married that summer?? At least toying around with the idea anyway.

Back in 2006/2007 I also had an unhealthy addiction to JCrew.com and would visit their site daily (this has since been cured, thanks to 2 years in a row of giving it up for my New Year's resolution and Lent.) But I was clearly in love with their simple wedding dresses and couldn't contain myself when they would go on sale. Obviously...that was my chance to pounce.

And pounce I did. Bought a $340 dress for less than 1/4 of the price. Except I bought it in secret. Didn't tell Tommy and didn't breathe a word of it to a soul. I knew what I was doing was bizarre and probably required therapy of some sort. But it was just such a DEAL! Plus, I figured if I ended up not wanting it, who cares....it was only like $50.

However, when the JCrew box arrived at the door, Tommy was interested. He's not a nosy guy, at all, but he inquired:

T - oooooooo...what did you get?

Me - nothing! why!? it's a surprise! leave me alone!

T - wha.....???

Me - seriously...it might just be a surprise for you...but if you don't watch it I'll send it back and you'll never get it!

T - IS THAT A WEDDING DRESS? *said with huge questioning, slightly alarmed eyes*

Me - *gasp* WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT!?

T - ohmygodyouboughtaweddingdressdidn'tyou. *smirking*

Me - I have no idea what you are talking about! *as I ran into the bedroom, locked the door, opened the package and tried it on...all while dodging his accusation*

I will never in my life understand how he knew it was actually a wedding dress. I never once told him I was buying a flipping wedding dress, or even thinking about buying one. He said he could see it in my face....and just knew. Whatever that means. A couple weeks later I told him it was in fact a dress that could be worn as a wedding dress...he laughed....and hugged me. But note, he never stopped loving me....even though I am a crazy. He really is so perfect for me. *sigh*

tina tarnoff *sale*

I recently purchased this lil beauty...totally adore.

In celebration of her 1000th Etsy sale (wahoo!),
Tina Tarnoff will be having a huge sale:
buy 2 get 1 free!
Better run.

victory #10: my dress

Meet my dress.

Creamy off white. 100% silk chiffon. Crinkle texture. Strapless. Simple.

She may not be glam...but she will work just fine for our small forest wedding.

Plus, I have enlisted the help of an A-lister to jazz her up a bit. More on that later.

*pictures from my bridal shots from last summer...via A Sophisticated View

ENTER MY BLOGIVERSARY CONTEST HERE!!

valentine

photo by Brion Hopkins

Very fine is my valentine.
Very fine and very mine.
Very mine is my valentine very mine and very fine.
Very fine is my valentine and mine,
very fine very mine and mine is my valentine

-Gertrude Stein



*note: my love will be driving down to Tucson today to spend the day with yours truly.
i cannot cannot cannot wait to hug him...it's been a rough week
and he always brings the rainbows.


ENTER MY BLOGIVERSARY CONTEST HERE!!

cutie cake toppers

how stinkin' cute are THESE lil people! $35 from Samyii

This is the kindof stuff I see and wonder how they are made. They're a lil quirky. A lil whimsical. A lil handmade treasure.

As long as we both shall live.

*note: Tommy came clean with me that he wasn't the biggest fan of the cake topper I originally bought. Which is great, because I'm really really in love with these sweet lil things!!!

snappy dressed dudes

Sarah Neal Photography

I don't think it will be tricky to dress up a bunch of good looking guys for our shin dig.

My thoughts:

- Suits: wearing their own suits was a possibility...I was all for it after I saw a few weddings where this was done...looked amazing. Except a couple of the guys don't own their own suits, and this could get really costly for them to go BUY a suit for our wedding.

- Suspenders: charming idea really. But the more I thought about it, it would be tricky to have the boys all wear the same colored pants and shirts. I became skeptical of pulling it off. But let it be known that Tommy DUG this idea.

- Vests: My fave trendy look. Except, again, expense plays a part as the vests would need to be purchased (as "renting" pants and vests aren't possible). But I still love love this idea. (my future hubby isn't totally "into" the vest look...he digs it....but....he doesn't exactly "swoon" over it like I do...soooo...

- Tux rentals: totally not where we thought our simple mountain wedding would go. We weren't anticipating formal. We were anticipating relaxed wardrobe...not red carpet (even though the men that walk the red carpet are GORGEOUS in their black tuxes).

And obviously, what the dudes wear are up to my Groom...sort of...but mostly.

Tux rentals ended up being the easiest...and the most cost efficient. Who woulda guessed? The groomsmen will all look wildly classy. Plus, we went with Mens Warehouse which has zillions of rental places across the country. It will be easier for the guys to go and get measured and rent their duds (including shoes!) and pick 'em up in Vegas before heading to Flagstaff for the wedding. (or at least we are crossing our fingers it will be easy anyway).

It took Tommy like 2 seconds to make his selections.
One button black tux - check
Black tie - check
No cummerbund - check
Vest - check (yay!)
Black shoes - check

And then we left.

Could it really be that easy?

Lucky gents.

wedding wish wednesday: #25 slow down

Sarah Neal Photography

Those of you who have been following my blog from the beginning know our journey has been a great one. When I started this blog, my Tommy and I were planning our wedding in secret (because, well...read about it here). After we "officially" became engaged I was in full on wedding planning mode (in between medical exams, out of state hospital externships and Tommy's grad school graduation). Because so much was going on in my "real life" every time I sat down to "wedding plan" I felt like I was sprinting from project to project...frantically attempting to get all the details set so my life could resume (but of course, enjoying it all as I went!)

And now, here I am, FOUR months away from saying our "I Do's" and the event is pretty much all coordinated. We have a few details to iron out...but they will get done (and if they don't...well...it's aiight). I just can't get over that I fell for this life of wedding planning. It's been a beautiful experience to plan this lil party of ours- this wonderful, elaborately simple, colorful, tasty, spiritual occasion celebrating our love for each other.

I'm glad that the bulk of our planning is done. I want to slow down* and enjoy the view from this side.

*note: I would slow down if my medical school rotations weren't attempting to kill me. Like...they are literally taking the life right out of me. Worst. Rotation. Ever. General Surgery sucks.

my veil came

via Recherche

and it's exactly like I pictured it would be! I was smiling soooo suuuuper big as I rushed into the bathroom, closed the door behind me and stuck it on top of my head. I was giddy with a goofy toothy grin, twirling in the mirror. Yes. I was twirling.

I am enamored with this veil.

It's still strange to me that I ended up really wanting a veil in the first place. A part of me is slightly embarrassed about wanting a veil. (Why is that?!) I think I spent so much time convincing myself that my wedding style is relaxed, that I didn't want to make a big fuss out of what I looked like...that it was OK if I didn't buy into the traditional bride "stuff." And yet, here I am with a glorious veil? Am I a sell out?

No. I'm not a sell out. Girl wants a veil. On my wedding day, I'll wear what I want. And I won't be apologetic for being a silly girl, or playing into a childhood fantasy. I'll just smile...and twirl.... and feel fabulous.

I had my veil custom created by Fascinating Creations. Cindy, the designer, is wonderful!

wellies for rain

flickr

I've never owned a pair of galoshes (and yes, that's what I grew up calling them....not Wellington's, or Wellies, or rain boots...they were galoshes). There's not a huge need for rain gear in Arizona. Obviously. It rains like 3 inches a year or something like that.

Except, the Farmer's Almanac predicted rain for our wedding day. Well - it didn't specifically say RAIN ON MAY 30th - but it indicated that it is a rainy time (and apparently it's a notorious date for rain and snow. *grin*)

Am I bummed? A little...yea. I really want our ceremony to be outside. I really want to skip in the meadows, and along the hiking paths lined with Aspens and Pines. Well. We'll see. It still might be ideal weather...and I actually adore rain anyway.

So now I'm toying around with the idea of getting some cute galoshes...I'm thinking bright yellow.

frolic!

flickr

Project 10K Wedding

Veil Tales

MyWeddingStory

flickr
BridesCafe

here

love words weekend

Marc Chagall

The night before the day of our wedding
I dreamed that the universe had a party,
And the stars were invited,
Beneath sparkling chandeliers, the planets rejoiced;
In all its beautiful, candle-lit galaxies,
Crowded with glass - clinking revellers,
The Cosmos was Laughing with
Lasting Love and Light.

- Kate Farrell

keeping cozy

By far the most practical pretty lil cardigan I've found yet.
I would so wear this a gazillion times.

I've been browsing the web for a "wedding warmer" these last few weeks. I have a bunch of files bookmarked. SO many options to keep me warm in the chilly May mountain weather...these are my current three faves...all from Anthropologie. (Except JCrew just came out with some cute cardis with ruffles on them - a look that I am a total sucker for apparently.)

*note: I've had these images saved on my comp for WEEKS. and i just went to swoon over them on the Anthro website and two of these three are no longer sold there...kindof a bummer.

But it's not like I know what style will look right with my dress anyway. I still don't even know what look I'm going for. It's sorta driving me nuts.

Me. Yea. I wanna look like me. But if I'm not wearing scrubs and a fleece - ummmm...what do I wear? I feel like I should have a style - but I tend to be all over the place. A lil free flowin' boheme one day...a lil conservative the next...a lil "I don't freaking care that my hair is in a messy bun for the 14th day in a row" ...and sometimes I attempt to look polished and trendy. I don't exactly identify with one specific style or look.

I'm getting a headache.

I feel like I have a split personality where 1/2 of me wants to live at Anthropologie and the other 1/2 wants to live at JCrew. And then I look at the price tag and my reality check comes in loud and clear and I end up at Last Chance (Nordstrom's Outlet which is like a huge garage sale on crack). *sigh* Oh, life.

Very boheme....and romantic. Yes?
To bad. Can't buy it anymore.

I think a splash of dark teal would look smashing with my yellowish bouquet...

and next to my girls in gray and my loverboy in black.
Except, you can only buy it on Ebay now - no take backs if it doesn't fit right. Dang.

honeymoon dreams

Zion National Park

Tommy and I set out to organize our honeymoon road-trip extravaganza a lil while back. Our dream was to road trip it out west, and then make our way across the country to our new home back east.

The Grand Tetons

We would plan to camp out in our beautiful national parks and every couple days stay in a luxurious resort (thanks to my parent's time share points!). The road trip included such incredible locations as the north rim of the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, Antelope Island, Jackson Hole, Yellowstone National Park, the Grand Tetons National Park, Mt. Rushmore, the Black Hills of South Dakota and more. *squeal!*

The Grand Canyon (north rim! never been there!)

Mt. Rushmore

WE WERE STOKED! It's pretty much all I could talk about for days.

And then we found out it wouldn't work that way.

And I was devastated for an hour or so.

Back to the drawing board.


*We already have some ideas to explore. And we aren't bummed or sad or let down. We will see those places someday :-) and WE ARE STILL STOKED FOR WHATEVER ADVENTURE COMES OUR WAY!!

b*tching and bragging

Both things are totally unrelated to wedding news...reader beware.

B*tching:
I'm doing a particularly tough rotation right now - at a hospital that will not be disclosed (obvs.). And it is awful. I got b*tched at by the chief resident today. Never my favorite thing. Especially in front of other students. I hate it here...and it takes a LOT for me to hate something. But this is right up there. (I might even just hate her too.)

Bragging: (best for last)
I received a phone call today telling me that I am OFFICIALLY ranked at the top of my #1 choice surgical residency program! I was doing cartwheels in my heart all day long. *sigh* I'm so relieved...and excited. NEW YORK HERE WE COME!!

postage paid

As we sent out our invitations last week (whew!) I only then thought about the postage stamps we would use. For some reason, I just assumed that there would be some great "nature" type postage stamps available, since I seem to remember there always being some stamp of some quantity having birds on it, or wildflowers, or something.

Nope. Nothing like that. I even searched through alllll the different lower priced stamps, to see if we could combine several stamps together (I know I know, this would have probably had to be a "project" that took collecting for many months on Ebay or something - which I never would have done in the first place). Let's just say, that my "nature" options were not that great. There were a couple higher priced stamps of mountains...but rather expensive...if 98 cents per stamp is expensive (ummm...yes...) So we opted for my current fave stamp set...the King & Queen of Hearts.


Pretty stinkin' cute for stamps 'eh? But since each of our envelopes only needed 44 cent postage, the lil love duo had to be separated...which affected me for like 1 second.


And while browsing the 2010 stamps that are set to come out this year - I got a lil jealous - 'cuz there are some goodies:

Hello perfect stamps of conifer branches. You would have been delightful on our invitation envelopes. Not that anyone would have noticed but me :-)

Or what about you fine fellows...abstract expressionism makes my knees wobble I love you so much. How awesome would I felt slapping a Rothko or Pollock on our invites?
Really really awesome.