Monday, May 25, 2009

will you marry us?

To me, our ceremony is the most important part of the entire wedding celebration. It's always been such a priority for me to be married by someone who knows us and loves us as a couple...someone that I respect and who has a beautiful sense of what love is. I have a friend in mind who I would just LOVE to marry us. This person isn't a minister and isn't ordained...just a friend, one of our favorite people. So far, My Guy and I have discussed it a little bit and we think that it could be a huge imposition to ask this friend to do this huge thing (this friend has one of those crazy life schedules and lives far far away.)

So then I was thinking, we could ask an old friend of mine from college. He left the summer between freshman and sophomore year to enter seminary to become a Catholic priest. We've kept in contact over the years and he's becoming ordained this summer (so exciting!). We dated a little bit way back in the day, which is why I don't know if that is totally appropriate...can a guy you used to date be involved with your wedding (granted he's a priest now...but still?)

I'm just throwing this stuff out there into the blogosphere...I'm just thinking about it a lot lately and sometimes writing about stuff makes it a little easier to process.

How hard is it to be ordained online? I've heard people can do that easily, but I've never looked into it...have you?? I also thought: we could get married at the courthouse to make it legal and then perhaps have that ceremony with our friends/family and our friend can officiate?

Geez. Options.


  1. I would check into who can marry you in your state. I know some states will not allow just anyone. Getting married at the courthouse could make for some cute pics, too. In CO, you can marry yourselves!!

    Our friend is going to marry us. He's known us through our entire relationship... and J even longer.

  2. My friend got ordained online really easily. He's already done one of our friend's weddings (CA) and he's doing another one in Atlanta this fall!

  3. We just confirmed half of our (hoped for) 2 person officiating team! In CA, they have to become ordained, but can do it online. Simple. I think it varies by state though.

    Having an old flame do the marrying seems a little awkward to me, but it probably depends on how all parties feel about it, and how much you dated in college. If he's a good friend, and your guy is cool with it, maybe it would work...

  4. so long as your hubby to be is cool with it, why not? I would love to have a friend officiate our wedding..

    "it's about the loving, the sharing.. the holding.. the loving" - Joey

  5. I think you should ask your friend to marry you. Even if he or she can't do it, it's not as if it wouldn't be the most flattering request ever!! This person, if they are really close to you, will probably be coming anyway, right?

  6. I think as long as all parties are comfortable with it, what does it matter? I think its amazing that you can have someone who knows you do the ceremony. As for the friend with the crazy schedule, are you sure they wouldn't mind? I mean, I personally would find the time because to me it would be a HUGE honor. But that is my personal opinion. Best of luck!

  7. my fiance and i thought long and hard about this one too. IMO you want someone that is around the two of you and knows you well to perform your ceremony - as it is the most precious part of the whole wedding!

    so we're having my fiance's uncle (a former priest..long story!) and a family friend who is a judge perform a joint ceremony for us.

  8. In Arizona, any one ordained as a minister can marry you. We were able to get ordained through for $45.00. I would be honored if two of my closest friends were to ask me to marry them, no matter how busy I was. I'd ask your friend. This is one of the most beautiful days of your life, no regrets!:)

  9. SNAP! This is what we're doing too.

    I've been so jealous reading all these American blogs about getting friends ordained in the Universal Life Church or having quaker style weddings and doing everything EXACTLY how you want to, coz you can.

    Here in Australia none of that is legal though so we're going to have a super basic ceremony at the wedding registrar with just our parents present, we'll get dressed up but not in what we are wearing at our wedding wedding, and no exchange of rings - just the legal wording required and signing of the certificate. And then we are going to ask a friend to officate at our WEDDING and we're going to write the entire ceremony from scratch!

  10. oh man, my fiance and i have put so much thought into this exact same thing. we have a friend that we'd like to do it but he and i (kinda, sorta) had a thing like, ages ago. I don't know what we'll end up doing though...

  11. a friend of mine got married by a friend that did the online thing - I think its a great way to go for people just like you! that want someone special in their lives to perform the ceremony. I definitely did not want to get married my someone I didn't know, or someone that didn't share my beliefs.

  12. Unfortunately, this is no longer an option in BC, which sucks, cause we totally wanted my brother in law to do it! If you have the option, I would definitely have a someone important to you do it!! Good luck

  13. Just as a warning -- I'm pretty sure that being ordained by the Universal Life Church isn't legally sufficient for CA! Be sure to research this thoroughly because it can cause major problems later if it turns out you aren't legally married.

  14. Hey chica, (reading through your old entries)

    My roommie did this for her friend, it was a beautiful touch. While Im sure Im not the one youre thinking of, I know for one Id count myself blessed to officiate over such a beautiful couple!



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