Jack's birth story

Jack's story is so relaxed, and beautiful. Our birth experience with him was a dream - when I think about it makes me smile. I won't give a play by play - it would be boring... but I would love to share some highlights.

 I had Jack at the same hospital that I delivered Clara at - one of the hospitals that I work at.  Now that I have been here for three years now, I know a lot of the nurses.  Most of the nurses that cared for me during this whole experience were nurses that I knew and had worked with!  It was nice to have friendly familiar faced around...but it was actually also awkward to have them working on me in such an intimate way - and they almost all called me Dr. Lastname instead of Jessica.  And the anesthsiologist?  Yea.  I work with him all the time....which is/was also quite awkward.  I digress...

I was induced, again. I labored all day in our birthing room. Walking back and forth in our spacious room...rocking on the ergonomic exercise ball...squeezing Tommy's hand and breathing through each contraction.  When the contractions were only moments apart, and causing tears to roll down my cheeks, I called for the epidural - expecting to sleep for the rest of the day, like when I had Clara.  Except, after I got the epidural, I questioned if it even worked! I could still feel every contraction and could feel and move my legs!! I asked them to bring the anesthesiologist back to "fix" my epidural - I wanted that epidural! (What I really really wanted was the mega relaxing nap that accompanied my epidural when I had Clara - it was so restful.) 

Well, the anesthesiologist didn't make it - because in walked my Ob.  She told me it was time to push...I resisted...I wanted the epidural...I was scared of the pain!  She told me he was already crowning and I NEEDED to push.  I gave three mighty pushes and out came Jack!! It wasn't hours and hours of frustrating pushing - it was quick, and not nearly as painful as I thought it would be. It happened so fast!!! In fact, it was so fast that he had lots of facial bruising - which is normal for babies who come fast (I hear).

We were blessed to be able to achieve a breast feeding latch within minutes of his birth. I felt so mello...so..."this is normal."  It felt like THIS is how babies are suppose to be born.  No drama.  Fairly painless...(not pain free by any means...laboring was more painful than the actual birth.)  But it wasn't scary.  It didn't seem like something happening TO me...this time I felt more present, like I was more in control.  It wasn't the out of body experience I had before...I was there. 
 

 

My hospital stay in the maternity ward was a dream. I had a room to myself.  I ate lots of chocolate cake... drank lots of ginger ale and never had to take pain meds stronger than Motrin. SUCH a different experience than with Clara!! (Where I couldn't walk, move, eat, sleep, shower, etc for several days!). 

Speaking of Clara...I missed her while I was at the hospital.  Missed isn't really the right word.  I longed for her.  When my mom brought Clara to the hospital I was overjoyed to see her and hug her and introduce her to her new little brother.  I was so curious to see her reaction to him!  But really - I just wanted to hold her.  She looked so big marching into my room...like a little lady...not the baby I left at home.  And boy oh boy she did NOT like seeing me in a hospital bed.  Poor thing got so worked up...kept saying "mama is so sick!" and even started crying while she was hugging me.  It was sweet even though it was heart breaking.  We all tried to assure here that I was fine...but it's hard to convince a smart little girl who sees her mother in a hospital gown, in a hospital bed, with IVs and monitors all around.  She was a little curious about her baby brother...gave him a couple kisses on the head...and that was that...then she went back to being concerned about me.  Poor thing.  I missed her terribly when she left.  I think I may have even dropped a tear when I said good-bye. 

Little Jack is as sweet as can be.  He's been like that since day 1. His facial features are so distinct....so mature....and his disposition is so pleasant.  Like an old soul.  It was such a calm experience to spend those first couple of days with him in the hospital.  I felt like I knew what I was doing.  It wasn't my first rodeo...I wasn't freaking out about how to feed him, change him, dress him, bathe him...I knew those things now.  I LOVED that he never cried in my arms.  I LOVED that when the nurses, aids and doctors would come check him out and he would get somewhat fussy, the second he was back with me he would stop immediately.  He knew that I was his mama.  Made my spirit soar. 

By the way, the chocolate cake was awesome.

When are you due!?

One if my inpatients asked me when I was due. Yea. That really happened today, 5 weeks after I birthed my sweet baby boy.

I smiled. But mentally cussed him out.

First day back at work

So. Little Jack turned 5 weeks old yesterday - and it was also my first day back at work.

I had planned for 6 weeks of maternity leave - yet due to circumstances beyond my control I got called to come back to work a week early. I was initially broken hearted to miss that last week with my newborn...than I got mad.

My first day back was rather uneventful. There were no tears this time - I think I was a little too scorned for tears. So i gave myself ONE day to be upset... one day to feel sorry for myself, to curse my professional choices. Residency is so weird - your life doesn't always feel like your own. Anyway, I refuse to feel sorry for myself today. Life and responsibilities go on. I can do this.

Clara as a big sis

Our sweet girl turns TWO this week - which has me reeling.  How did that happen?  Wasn't she just a newborn yesterday?  Yes, yes she was.  Now I'm convinced that time flies even faster with children! And let's not forget Jack - who turns 1 month old this week!  Time?  Where did it go??

 I've gotten a couple emails asking how Clara's transition has been with the introduction of baby Jack into our world. Lets just say that up to this point she has been pretty oblivious to his existence. She mentions him sometimes...."Baby Jack is so sleeping!" or "Baby Jack is so crying!"  And she has begged to hold him once or twice.  But for the most part - she doesn't want much to do with him.  This will surely change. We hope.

In other news...she does go around all day singing the ABCs and Happy Birthday...which is pure adorableness.  We will celebrate her birthday with our New England family this weekend.  So excited to celebrate Clara and to introduce Jack to the family!

jack's newborn pictures

Our wonderful friend Amanda of (Amanda Bills Photography) came over and snapped a few gems of our little guy a couple weeks ago.  I swoon!  They are so so sweet!
 
 Fortunately, Amanda brought a whole bag full of props...soft blankets, a white noise machine (which worked like a charm, holy cow!) and lots and lots of newborn baby hats.  She has 4 daughters, so you can only IMAGINE her assortment of bows and pretty little frilly things!  I was so thankful, as none of the cute hats that we have even fit his head yet.  She used a bunch of our throw pillows and converted our living room into a make-shift studio...and she did it in about 20 seconds. 

Amanda was some sort of baby whisperer.  He didn't flinch after she would position him...he never whimpered, or fussed...it was amazing.  He is such a good little one.   I'm so glad we got these pictures.  Treasures to add to our collection.

our Aunt Clare MADE this divine baby blanket for Jack...isn't it gorgeous!?

How we chose our baby's name

My husband and I tried to keep both of our children's named a secret during our pregnancy. We wanted to avoid hearing people's thoughts about the names we selected...you just never know what people are going to share. To be honest I let it slip a few times with Jack - much to my dismay reactions tended to be lack luster - eh.

Jack was the top name on both my name list and Tommy's - interesting huh!? It's always been one of my fave names. I love that it is just a classic name and isn't trying hard to be flashy or fancy.

So in this case choosing a name was easy since it was both of our number 1 names. The tricky part was sticking with it as I kept second guessing the selection. I entertained other names and nearly made myself crazy.

In the end we went with the name we liked the most. Had to trust our gut! We are so happy we did - the name fits our little guy so well.

Yawn

We are all exhausted around here. I miss sleep - like really really really miss the luxury of sleeping for more than 2 hours at a time. Oh man.

We are all acclimating to our newest family member - and he is such a little sweetie. I almost forgot how nice it is to hold a newborn. He curls up so perfectly into our arms - *sigh* - just love that.

Clara still doesn't quite know what to think about it all - but she is being such a trooper. Tommy and I are having such a nice time being home with our little family all together. Feeling blessed.

101 weeks + 1 week + 1 day

Jack is 1 week and 1 day old...Clara is 101 weeks old!!

Jack has been with us for one week and one day.  And what a week it was!  Clara has been with us for 101 weeks...and what an adventure it has been!  My babies.  My heart.

My mom left yesterday.  I sobbed.  No really....SOBBED all day just thinking about her departure.  My sobbing inevitably made her sob....it was ridic.  But...she had done so much to help us while she was here.  She would wake with Clara, feed her and get her going in the morning.  She'd let me nap and occupy Clara...hold baby Jack.  She'd prepare our meals...do our dishes...scrub our floors...dear Lord...what an angel.  How was I going to do this without her!?  (Mother's are so special...talk about unconditional love.)

I'm looking forward to figuring this out...this is one aspect of the balance and art of motherhood.  I get 6 whole weeks with my little loves.  Never again will I have such a span of time with them exclusively.  Now it's down to 5 weeks.  And next week, they will be going off to college.  So I will savor this crazy, hormonal, exciting, amazing, terrifying, sleep deprived adventure of mine...and just love the stuffings outta them!

PS:  Clara doesn't quite know what to think about it all...but they sure are cute together!

let me introduce you to our son...

Jack Kapitan

arrived on February 6th, 2013 at 2:04 pm...

... at 7 pounds 14 ounces and 20.5 inches of wrinkly old man good looks.

His birth was beautiful and quite an honor.

This little boy didn't even have to steal my heart...

I gave it right to him the second I held him in my arms.

We are now blessed with two lovely babies.

Thank you for your sweet words, bloggy friends, they mean so much.

a few moments after he was born!!!

first sibling kiss - melted my heart.

 Note:  How I am doing, where my sanity went, and if I will ever find it again will be discussed at another time.  As will the "story of Jack"... but all of that will have to wait until another time.  My mother has been here for the past week and a half and she leaves tomorrow (which makes me weep!) SUCH an angel to be here with us to help navigate the road of having two babies under two.  Tomorrow I will be flying solo...sooo... until we meet again!