marriage license!!

Two days ago I posted my lil "to do" list and a few of you WONDERFUL readers suggested I add "getting the marriage license".  Thank God you did...because I plum forgot about that.  So after work today, Tommy and I jolted downtown and got our paperwork together.  I was bouncing off the walls...freaking out...totally psycho-excited....but maintaining my composure and keeping an "o-so-cool-because-we-are-in-public" demeanor.  Until I busted out the camera.  It blew my cover.

In 17 days we are tying the knot.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!




omg.  we have to write our ceremony.

the to-do's before our i do's

via 100 Layer Cake

Really...what have I been doing?  Because we are less than 20 days until the wedding and we have a lot to do.  I'm trying to be chill about it all - what won't get done, just won't get done, so I'm not going to get all ridiculous about it.  I just need to list out what I need to do...and maybe, by writing it down on here, it will help me focus?  Yea.  It will help me focus.  (Sometimes, when there is a LOT to do, I find myself sitting quietly...not doing anything....weird right?)

- compose our vows

- coordinate our ceremony timeline

- establish our wedding weekend timeline

- plan rehearsal dinner (who/how/where?)

- talk to the photographers

- fill out the DJ paperwork

- fill out the videographer paperwork (did I mention we got one??)

- talk to the venue coordinator

- make table identifiers
- create the seating chart - uggh!

- place cards?

- make ceremony programs

- finalize menu

- contact the folks who haven't RSVP'd yet

- find buckets for the flowers

- buy flower prep "stuff"

- create out of town bags 

- make/find Flagstaff maps (why am I such a freak?  I want to draw them...seriously...freak)

- figure out exactly how many mason jars/candlesticks/candles we have

- pack for the honeymoon (this can actually wait)
- pack for our move to NY

- take a few carloads to the Goodwill

- work on Tommy's wedding gift (love this!!)

- get my hair trimmed 
- figure out a hair style (I actually made a trial run appointment...doy.)

- breathe

- kiss my fiance

What am I forgetting??

more of our engagement pics!

Spent a fab weekend in Phoenix with my love.  We cooked up some deliciousness for our Easter dinner (he made an apricot ham, I made a rhubarb pie)...we took a walk around the neighbor to worship the perfect weather...and take photos of our 'hood.  It was heavenly.  Simply heavenly.  (ummm...after the whole car situation I wasn't too optomistic...but a weekend of awesomeness did prevail.)  Today, I start my last rotation of my medical school career...in the emergency department.  Pretty excited.

I thought I would share a few more of our engagement pictures...to continue to celebrate the transition from being a loving couple to being a loving married couple. (ummm...those might actually be my Aunt Clare's words??)

These are some of my favorites. Alllllll of these moments were captured by the ever talented, the ever lovely, Sarah Neal, in Flagstaff.

"my husband" slip

*photo of us at our RI engagement party taken by Aunt Polly...who is quite the photog.

Swear to God...

Friday I referred to my fiance as my husband.

TWICE.

In two separate conversations. With two separate groups of people.

It flowed off my tongue so perfectly...so harmoniously...so flawlessly that it took a moment for me to catch myself, think about it, and realize that what I had said wasn't correct.

How peculiar.

Has this happened to you?
Did you feel like a freaking idiot?
And sort of love it at the same time?

*Tommy's sister and cousin decorated Christmas ornaments for party favors...stinkin' cute!!

*we were given so many lovely lovely gifts...treasures we'll cherish forever

our catholic pre-marital counseling

Catholic Catedral of St. Mary in Lviv (Ukraine)

Will not be happening.

Apparently the diocese in Phoenix requires 9 months of marriage preparation. No if, ands, or buts about it. No exceptions. Under any circumstances. (Let me remind you, we are 5 months away from our nuptials.)

No Catholic pre-marital counseling for us. My Guy is not Catholic...and my relationship has shifted rather significantly with the church in recent years (but that is a whoooooole different story)....so...this situation isn't exactly devastating. Except for the fact that I really wanted to take part in pre-marital counseling. I think it is of benefit to any couple, and it's something that My Guy and I discussed doing long before we were engaged. I think it's important to have those difficult conversations before saying "I Do..." and I think having an moderator to facilitate discussion would add significantly to the experience.

The Deacon assured me that the church's stance on marriage preparation was sound. With the divorce rate being so astounding, they want to make sure that the couple is really ready for marriage. Of course. Makes sense. That's all well and good, but we don't have 9 months, we have 6 months.

I'm still interested in pre-marital counseling...so I have some digging to do. Any suggestions?

parties and road trips

another dreamy One Love Photo image

What a fanfreakingtastic holiday weekend. I gained 7 pounds. And it was the best, most tasty 7 pounds of my whole life. Christmas was simply spectacular...full of New England snow scapes, warm glowing fireplaces, glittering ornaments, and all the joy and laughter that one home with 20 people could handle.

The party continued into Saturday evening when Tommy's relatives threw us an engagement party. I have to admit, I didn't feel uncomfortable as the center of attention. In fact, I was lovin' it (the wine may have helped.) No really though, surrounded by his family and my closest Rhode Island girlfriends - all congratulating us and being excited for us with smiles on their faces was rather spectacular. I mean really - it was overwhelming. I almost cried in front of everyone I was so moved.

It makes me realize that our union is bigger than just the two of us. I am gaining a new sister, a new brother, another set of parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that love me as much as my own family does. And they really do. They like me that much. And I them.

Such a heart humbling feeling.

Today the two of us begin our road trip back to Arizona. I'm more than a little heart broken to leave Rhode Island. My time living with Tommy's family has been a dream...and I still feel there are adventures to be had! Yet. Time is up, and I need to hurry back to Arizona for my general surgery, emergency dept, and inpatient medicine rotations. We'll be hitting up Charleston, Atlanta, New Orleans, San Antonio, and El Paso on our way. Won't be able to write for a few days, but I will update next year.

2010 is going to be epic.

our winter reunion

I think snowy winter love stories epitomize romance - Katie Jenkins Photography

Well friends. Our four month 3000 mile separation ends today, Saturday, December 19, 2009. My Guy arrives in Rhode Island! (Weather permitting of course...as there is a HUGE snow storm moving in to devastate the region). Plans are to frolic in the magical winter wonderland that is cozy New England. We will celebrate with family and friends...bring to life a snowman and a snow angel or two....shovel snow...shovel snow....shovel snow...and consume vast quantities of hot cocoa. I adore this time of year. (even more so now that I own a couple pairs of long underwear.)

The day after Christmas (or so) we will begin our long trek back to Arizona in my trusty lil sedan. Another fab adventure to enjoy together. When we arrive in our desert home of Phoenix, I will be moving (yet again!) 1.5 hours south to Tucson. At least it's the same area. At least we can see each other whenever we have a spare afternoon!

This evening, his Aunt Sally and Cousin Eliza will be hosting an engagement party for us! I literally couldn't be more EXCITED! This party will bring together my best east coast girl friends (and their beaus), some of our groomsmen (and their ladies!) and all of Tommy's family. That's his name, My Guy. He's Tommy. It's about time I finally come out with that - as it is bound to slip one of these days anyway *smile*

I'm so full of joy my face hurts from smiling!

my brilliant bff

One Love Photo

Remember me talking about my best friend Becky? She recently got married and was such a relaxed bride! I was chatting with her recently about our own wedding plans...

and she poetically inspired me when she said:

"You know, there are a million beautiful ways to get married."

That Becky....she's a smart one...with phenomenally simple advice.

will i be a good wife?

another me and my sweetie shot - Sarah Neal Photography

Over morning coffee in the cutest lil cafe in Old City Philadelphia, I started somewhat rambling about how I wondered if I would be a "good wife." My Guy calmed my heart with this,

"Being a 'wife' isn't a role you have to play. I'm marrying you because you are wonderful and I love you and I can't imagine a life without you."

He's great like that.

6 months out - recap

One Love Photo

Holy moley. We get married in SIX MONTHS! In 6 months I will become a wife, a partner, a companion to the one I love best. Wow. Big stuff.

Six months sounds like eons away. But I know it will fly by in the blink of an eye. These days are precious. Sure there is all of the "planning" that needs to happen...but I look forward to spending this time reflecting on the big picture of things to come: to cherish these last few months with the last name I was born with, to prepare for moving 3000 miles away from my family and friends, to enjoy being a strong and autonomous fiance, and to continue to cultivate my relationship with the coolest guy I know.

I rather enjoy being a fiance. Haven't you noticed that people get all excited and smiley when you tell them you are getting married? I am showered with congratulations and inquiries about wedding plans all while they are probably reflecting on memories of their own nuptials. It's pretty cute. I feel like handing out a card with my blog address on it - and saying, "here...this is what I'm thinking..."

This is the first list I've compiled of our accomplishments...we still have a ways to go...but it's getting there!


getting engaged - (remember our situation?)
location - Flagstaff
venue - Snow Bowl
photographer - One Love Photo
officiant - Mrs. Meg
invitations - Earthly Affair
bridal party - 5 on each side...with two maids of honor and two best men...it's how we role
bridesmaid dresses - whatever they look amazing in
bridesmaid gifts - yay!
cake - Christine the magnificent
gifts - Nature Favors

bridal portraits - A Sophisticated View
engagement pictures - Sarah Neal Designs
Save the dates - Vista Print (sent...a looooooong time ago.)

As you can see - we have a sh*t ton of stuff left to do. But the list about looks pretty good - and I'm happy with it all...this whole shin dig might just go off as planned.

where's the simple?

One Love Photo - I love this picture. Doesn't it seam wonderfully real life? No performance...no show. Just a beautiful bride kissing her new husband, in the rain, under a dotted umbrella.

I'll admit, it happens to the best of us...getting caught up in the details. It happens to me quite frequently. But today, I'm feeling the pressure and it's making me flustered.

I've sat here, in this warm cozy Internet cafe - searching - diligently - for inspiration. I've been browsing all the "typical" sites - the sites that I get lost in. The sites where the couples look more like models and less like real folks, where everything is a tad more sparkly, and the flowers are overflowing. The sites that make me uncomfortably jealous with their couture and extravagance. I start to feel small. Small and insecure. And silly for even attempting to craft a homespun wedding celebration. And I start thinking, "it probably won't even turn out like I envision anyway."

Then it struck me. I'm doing this nonsense to myself. Why do I seek inspiration from these big wig sites? These photographers who charge zillions for the pictures will clearly be taking pictures at weddings that cost more than a zillion dollars in the first place. Where did all those wonderfully indie, diy and rustic wedding blogs go? What am I doing to myself!?

I've loved the process of planning my wedding thus far! But, I don't think I'm alone in that I'm not looking to create the most "knock your socks off" wedding our guests have ever attended...I'm not out to create an enviable opulent occasion...I guess you could say I'm not even out to impress anyone. I just want to love it...be present within it...and not get lost in all the hoopla.

Hummm...it's possible I'm having a bad day.

*engaged* research

This fantastic (and blog famous!) shoot can be found at Once Wed. Photographed by Tec Petaja

As a medical student I have participated in a NUMBER of random research projects - the most memorable was an "injection" lab where my lil feet were poked with various sized needles to determine pain thresholds. Let me tell you, that wasn't quite as much fun as this research project that you are invited to participate in.

Christina, a doctoral student at University of Virginia contacted me to help recruit engaged couples for her research study. Here's her plug:

Engaged volunteers needed!

I am looking for volunteers for a study of attitudes towards marriage and parenthood among engaged couples. The study consists of a 25-30 minute online survey. To qualify for the study, you must be 20-35 years old, live in the U.S., and plan to marry or have a commitment ceremony within the next 365 days. You and your romantic partner must not have children, and this must be the first marriage for both of you.

You can:

-Help a doctoral candidate;

-Increase the pool of scientific knowledge;

-Support research on marriage and families; and

-Spend some time thinking about your relationship!

I am working with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia. This study has been approved by the University of Virginia Institutional Review Board #2009025800.

If you and/or your romantic partner are interested in participating or want further information, please email me at survey.couples@gmail.com. I will send you a link that you can use to access the study.

the power of my ring

me and my sweetie in a Flagstaff meadow - Sarah Neal Photography

I all but agonized over the whole "engagement" ring thing. I rationalized with My Guy that such a tradition was not my scene, that a ring wasn't necessary for me to feel loved and special. I attempted to convince him that spending money on something like an engagement ring was somewhat silly and completely irrelevant for our engagement to begin. And, I was being serious.

Yet, here I am in Massachusetts. Over 3000 miles away from him. I can't even tell you how many times a day I glance down at my hand, take in the sparkle of that gleaming row of diamonds, and smile. When I start to get flustered, feel lonely, or need encouragement, I give it a lil gaze...and suddenly, miraculously, my heart is calmed and I can breathe. It reasures me that even though life (and med school) is hard and sometimes painful, at the end of the day, love is all you need.

This engagement ring holds within its glitter all of the promises of our future life together. It may be metal and polished rocks, but it reminds me that I am cherished, and not alone. It takes me to that day where he asked me and I said "yes." It reminds me of our laughter together - our sweet quiet moments - and those enthusiastic celebrations we share.

My engagement ring comforts me. And I am beyond grateful for that.

I miss him.

my sisters are rock stars

Sooooo... you know how much I love my sisters, right? To the moon and back. It's true. Except now I love them even more:

Saturday night they threw My Guy and I a surprise engagement party / farewell to me gathering at our favorite local pub! So many of our nearest and dearest were there - it was AMAZING! If our wedding is half as rad as this night was, it would be fantastic.

I love our friends. LOVE them. And my sisters? Well. They are just superb. What a supremely awesome evening.

Being engaged is clearly the bomb.

registry reviews

Yesterday I posted a lil bit about our adventures in registering :-)

I received NUMEROUS emails about it...most were requests for the cookware/cutlery reviews that I mentioned from Cooks Illustrated. Clearly, I don't think I can post them here as I don't want to infringe on copyright laws . Yet, I figured I could help steer those in need towards a site that a reader suggested yesterday:

www.consumersearch.com

It actually includes the reviews that I used! I was excited to explore this site because it compiles several different reviews and makes it's recommendations accordingly. I loved the knife section :-) We registered for the "BEST" knives...not the most expensive (do you know how amazing that feels!?)

I've been talking about registries at work all week. I'm in a clinical rotation with two fabulously stylish young female surgeons - did I mention they are fabulously stylish? Well, they are both married and love talking weddings, so I pick their brains a TON. They had very interesting views/experiences with registries:
Dr. R was recently wed and registered for traditional elements like fine china, and crystal. One single guest at her large wedding bash purchased every single item of her china. Every. Single. Item. AND included 4 additional place settings. (What?) She also received, from various guests, all of the crystal stemware she had registered for. She said she uses it everyday - and she loves that.
Dr. P was married a few years ago. She and her husband registered for both an entire block set of expensive fancy knives, as well as individual knife pieces (to give people gift options). They ended up receiving the entire set from a distant relative. She also received every piece of crystal that belonged to the set she selected (pieces that she didn't even register for - like vases and bowls and platters). She said she uses them all the time - they remind her of her wedding, and they remind her of the loved ones that gifted them those heirlooms.

Both ladies encouraged me to register for the special stuff. So I'm passing that advice on to you. I didn't register for fine china, or fine crystal either...come to think of it, we didn't exactly select heirloom pieces, but I'm OK with that for now. I don't want to give the impression that I don't dig china or crystal - because I do (and there are so many beautiful patterns out there that we would love to have). They are "maybe someday" items. I guess we've just gravitated towards the items we both need and want.


*note: we received our first engagement gift this past weekend, from my mom, it's a book called
Who Knew? and a quick synopsis:

"why you should always store eggs small side down and thousands of other tips, secrets and quick fixes to make your life easier, you home cleaner and your food taste better - all while saving time and money."

Wahoooo! Bring on the secrets!

registry wonderland

The whole registry thing was not at all like I expected it to be. Honestly, it was even more crazy that I had anticipated. My Guy loved shooting everything in sight with that gun, and I was more apprehensive. I didn't want to register for "silly" things, as there are SO many things that we actually NEED. (Ummm...do I really need a flour sifter? I dunno...but I registered for one).

Anyway. I researched as best I could online, and the two of us set out to scan some sweet stuff. That's when "overload" occurred. We went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and the sales people were friendly enough, but they walked around with us to every section (which made me feel weird...I wanted to really discuss these items with my loverboy...and it was awkward).

They encouraged us to register for the expensive stuff and upgrade upgrade upgrade...
"people WANT to buy you a $578 knife set!"
"people LOVE to buy newlyweds expensive china!"
"it's NORMAL for someone to spend $200 on a wedding gift!"
Um...yea right. My family is generous...my friends are wonderful...but we are in a recession people. And...um... I don't know rich people. :-)

My personal three registry objectives:
1. Kitchenaid standup mixer
2. sturdy white dishes
3. NO china

At the end of the day:
1. We didn't register for the Kitchenaid mixer because we couldn't select a color.
2. My future hubby prefers colored/funky dishes over classic white (ie: green).
3. We actually registered for over $1500 in CHINA. I kid you not.

I failed.

That very night I shot off a "help me please!" email to my Aunt Clare - who has become my "go to" for all things advice related (and happens to be a kitchen/cooking/entertaining expert!) My Aunt Clare will henceforth be known as my Registry Angel.

My Registry Angel emailed me several Cooks Illustrated product reviews of different types/brands of knives (which was genius...we had NO idea where to go with knives...and surprising, the most expensive brands hardly made it into the top rated spots!), as well as several reviews of different types of cooking ware (which was brilliant - now we are totally excited about our selected pieces!). She also sent me an amazingly thorough itemization of kitchen/dining/cooking/serving pieces. No really...it was amazing...it was a 6 page color coded Word document that I pored over for two days. We altered, and readjusted our list over and over...made sure we registered for the things we'll need in the brands we can trust.

Now:

1. Kitchenaid standup mixer in Green Apple (My Guy picked it out!)

2. Beautiful white Crate & Barrel dinnerware (I picked it out!)

3. A tent at REI

registry questions

Sunday Suppers

My Guy and I haven't "registered" for anything yet, despite the fact that we've had several (several) people ask us about it. (Um...and I get Macy's, Bloomingdale's and Crate & Barrel registry stuff in my inbox daily)

Our deal is:
1. we have no idea what we need
2. we actually need loads of stuff (ha!)
3. we don't know how to pick what is good stuff
4. i feel sorta selfish picking out presents for ourselves...it's odd
5. fine china will not be on our list

Sunday Suppers

I love the fact that my mother cooks using the pots and pans they were given for their wedding. I really really love that. I want that. I want one set of pots and pans, mixing bowls and muffin pans, cookie sheets and measuring cups...good stuff...stuff that lasts forever. Forever.

Do they still make stuff that lasts forever? How do I know what brands are the bomb...and which ones are just priced like good stuff?

We actually have stuff - from college...a couple good things (I love my Pyrex!) but most of our stuff isn't "good" though it "works." I have two little sisters who could very well benefit from our scrambled kitchen collection if we do end up getting new things.

Camping stuff would be phenomenal too.

I wonder when we'll have time to do the whole registry thing.

our engagment pictures

Friends. May I present to you, our engagement session:

This one is my personal favorite...it'll get a frame...definitely.

We spent last Saturday in Flagstaff with the incredibly talented Sarah Neal, my fave local photographer (who is unavailable for our wedding day which is a huge bummer). We spent the day meandering around old downtown brick buildings, forging paths through meadows of tall grasses and purple wildflowers, dodging raindrops with the help of a beautifully bright umbrella, and whispering "I love you's" as the entire experience was rather romantic. Sarah was so comfy to be in front of a camera for...such a creative eye, an artistic edge and wonderful company...it was like spending the afternoon with an old friend (but it was also like being in the presence of a celebrity as I'm such a fan of her work...)

The sky in the photo on the left reminds me of an Ed Mell painting (he's my favorite Arizona artist and famous for his renditions of the southwestern sky.)




Sarah told me to clean my nails prior to our session. I did. I swear I did....scrubbed and picture ready. And then Flagstaff happened. And picking wildflowers, and sitting on fluffy pink blankets in the dirt, and well...life happened. :-)

My favorite spot. This field was spectacular! I was so happy here.

There are a few more lil goodies at Sarah Neal's blog!

*Sarah - you are amazing!

to engagement party or not?

Our Labor of Love via Once Wed

My sisters approached me a couple weeks ago about an "engagement party."

Did I want one?
Who did I want to invite?
What activities did I want to include?
What kind of food did I have in mind?
They needed addresses...
They needed invitation design ideas...

Whoa.

Ummmm...I don't know. I've never even been to an engagement party. Do I need one? Who would even come? What city should it be in? Sounds as detailed as the wedding itself! My gut reaction was, "no thanks, we don't really need an engagement party."

I would, however, be up for a "farewell" shin dig prior to my departure to the east coast in a month. Nothing fancy. Perhaps a pup crawl? Perhaps a joint engagement/farewell par-tay? Yea....that sounds better.

*What was your engagement party like?

ring browsing adventure

ENTER TO WIN AN ARTISTIC SKETCH OF YOUR WEDDING GOWN!

here

The first time we went "ring shopping" we decided to hit up the local independently owned shops in our central Phoenix neighborhood, and forgo the mall. We started at Louix XV on Central.

After getting "buzzed" in, we were met with a powerful gust of cold air conditioning, and the soft warm light dancing on the jewels in sparkling glass cases. I had no idea what I was in for. This jewelry shop was no shop, it looked like a museum or something. Individual spot lights emphasized specific necklaces and rings and it was quite a site. We knew in about .25 seconds that we were in way over our heads. But what the heck...

Eli came up and introduced himself as one of the master jewelers, an incredibly friendly young man. My Guy asked to see eternity rings...to which we found out they don't have any. Then we asked about solitaire engagement rings...just to see what they looked like on. Ummm...they don't carry any diamonds less than a 2 carat either.

OhhhhhhK.

But Eli was so cool, he told us that most of their pieces are custom orders...and people purchase heirloom jewelry and investment pieces (investment pieces? what does that mean in terms of jewelry?). He encouraged us to look around at some of their creations. Many of the jewels on the necklaces were HUGE. Like, HUGE. I think perhaps my jaw was on the floor the whole time. Everything was so elegant. Not really my taste, but undeniably beautiful and fancy!

Eli walked over to us with a handful of enormous diamond rings for me to try on. Just for fun. (Bless you Eli was what I was thinking the whole time!) The first one was a 7 carat yellow diamond rimmed in tiny white diamonds. I about croaked. When I took it from him I put my index finger RIGHT ON TOP OF THE GEM leaving my freakin' nasty fingerprint on their beautiful ring...I felt like such a tool. But I tried it on anyway. It was super heavy and reminded me a lot of Paris Hilton's engagement ring to that Greek guy...you know which one I'm talking about right...obnoxiously big and ridiculous for real life? Yea. It took up my entire proximal phalanx. It was pretty amazing. Then we found out it was a 2 million dollar ring. WTF? Seriously Eli? Who the hell comes into this jewelry shop and buys a 2 million dollar ring? I don't understand.

Tried on a few more, I felt like a celebrity! It was a bummer handing all of those beauties back when we left.

Needless to say, we didn't go ring shopping for a few months after that.