Wednesday, June 17, 2009

wedding wish wednesday #5: that they "get it"

image via Jennifer Bowen

Do you ever think about the direction your wedding would take if it weren't for blogland? I do. And it makes me thank my lucky stars that I found my way to the blogosphere. It's opened my mind to expressing my own unique taste and sense of style. However...when the typical and traditional wedding "rules" aren't followed, how do guests react? For example, when I brought up the notion of wanting pies instead of a wedding cake, I was met with faces of confusion. If details like "pie" throws people for a loop, how will people react to the rest of the slightly whimsical details I hope we embrace for our celebration?

One of the benefits of blogland is that we have the luxury of being inspired by the designs and details that suit our tastes by following our fave blogs. I've noticed that I tend to gravitate towards the homespun simple organic weddings where brides look unfusy (yet lovely of course!), where ceremonies are performed in nature, the stationary is unique and art-inspired, that green eco-friendly concepts flourish, my list goes on.

I have a wedding wish that my guests "get it" - that they realize that the small details of our celebration are meaningful, deliberate and a true expression of who we are.


  1. I worry about this too. I think in the end, the people that love you don't care if you walk out in a paper bag surrounded by clowns, they will be there to celebrate your marriage and that is really all that matters.

  2. Yeah, I'm worried about it myself. My fiance doesn't seem to get the idea of what I want, and if he doesn't get it- yikes! I'm all for compromise, but I LOVE the idea of other desserts, especially pie (my parent's home has blackberry vines that we could use for pies- yum!). And honestly, cake is totally overrated. And I HATE tiered wedding cakes with those stands in between! Like what you like people but I personally think they are terrible looking. I guess in the end, I just DON'T care, and neither should you, because its about OUR day, not theirs.

  3. I hear you!! BUT, I can definitely say that I trust and believe in our vision and inspiration, and also in the fact that our guests will no doubt feel comfortable, welcomed, loved, and appreciated in our 'unique' wedding. They may not understand all of the details, but I really do believe that when they leave, they will feel a sense of "wow, I have just exerienced something special... and damn, that homemade apple pie was delish!!" (stay confident... even when you get those confused looks! Just say "trust me, it will be great")

  4. Something about confused expressions in response to "pie" just cracks me up. Almost makes you hope just a bit for 1 or 2 who don't get it, just for the additional giggles.

  5. Ah! We are blogging kindred spirits. Not only did I find your blog and was like, "Wow, she's doing everything I want to do!" but I also am right on board with what you post. For example, this post.. pies are IT. It makes so much sense to have pies at your wedding, especially since my guy doesn't even like cake (I do, but then I like anything with sugar in it). Our wedding is definitely going to be a bit offbeat, and luckily I think our huge group of friends will totally get us. Extended family is another matter, but you're marrying each other, not them.

    Glad to find my sister blogger! Cheer's to northern Arizona love parties!

  6. Hear, hear. The only suggestion I can offer is move 3000 miles away, and date a few dubious characters, before finding a prince & deciding to tie the knot. I think both of our sets of parents are so thrilled that we're settling down that they will put up with (embrace, even!) any eccentricities that we throw at them (and there will be a few). But I guess that doesn't help, since you've already found Your Guy :)

  7. I know that there was more to this post than just the pie detail BUT my best friend didn't have cake for her wedding - she had pie.

    I promise you, everyone loved it. Yes, there were some quizzical looks but in the end, people embraced the deliciousness of it all. Even the old people! :)

  8. Your words ring truth! They look at you like you are crazy! But weddings are not about rules, they are about you and your hunny and what you two want to convey about your style and your tastes. Traditional weddings are not for everyone, some of us like to be unique and personal(amen to that)! If it was not for blogs like yours, I would not of created mine either and would not of gotten such eye opening inspiration, So thank you for being out of the box!

  9. When I was planning my own wedding, I had people look at me like I was crazy too. But come the day of your wedding, people usually just go with the flow. Stick to your values and people will be more moved by that than a boring, traditional wedding. :)

  10. Jennifer is right. A guest experiencing something unusual on the actual wedding day is quite different than asking them to imagine it during planning. Most guests will go with the flow.

    And really, if they didn't, what's the worst that could happen? The sky won't fall.

    I do wish some of you wouldn't make sweeping statements declaring that some elements (cake) are overrated. I happen to adore Lemon Pound Cake with Lemon Glaze and plan to have it at my wedding - in tiers (no columns) with fresh flowers spilling all over it.

    But I would be fine with pies at your weddings.

  11. When I was planning my wedding, there were some details that I would share that brought on confusion and arguments, but when people see your entire vision come together on the day of, they get it. trust me.

  12. Wow, that's a good point Kristenmellis. We concoct an entire vision in our minds and it all fits together.

    Then we only reveal a few tiny details of the overall vision, and wonder why they don't get it! ;)

    That's why the reaction is so much more positive on the wedding day. The overall vision is finally visible.

  13. I am so with the other commenters. Try not to think too much about what other people will think and have what is meaningful and fun for you and your fiance. I got married almost 14 years ago (yikes!). Well before the internet exploded (remember first generation dial up?!?). I loved our wedding and we had lots of special details but so many things I would do different if I did it today with all of the inspiration out there. Martha Stewart Weddings wasn't even around then - the first issue came out right after my wedding!! Stay true to what will make you happy.

  14. I'm sure they will, Jes. Just follow your heart and create a ceremony that is "YOU" and everyone will love it.

  15. Oh I have the same wish! I love your ideas, and those who know and love you will be touched by your whimsy.
    A wedding that is unique and personalized will be more memorable to both you and your guests.
    I am sick of the same old plastic "glass slipper" place card holders and david's bridal dresses.

    Those who have a single judgemental thought better keep it to themselves!

    I have the same problem. I am doing things my way, keeping the traditions I want and inventing new ones. A friend of mine already made me cry about freaking chair covers, dj, and caterer. I mean, who cares??????? she just didn't get it.

    But you get it and inspire so many people. good luck & congrats!



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