Wednesday, July 1, 2009

wedding wish wednesday #7: no shoulda coulda wouldas

Obviously, people don't want regrets when it comes to anything in life, let alone their wedding. Sometimes I wonder if a traditional church wedding, with a Vera Wang gown, cathedral veil and elegant decor won't be something I look back and wish I had. Will I look back at my simple white dress and wish I had gone more "bride" with my look? Will I long for the formal church ceremony? Will I think my uncoordinated wedding stationary silly? Will I regret not taking a more sophisticated approach to the design of all this?

I hope not.

I hope I don't look back at my wedding and give ANY of our choices a second thought. I've heard so many brides say, "I wish we would have ______" or "we really should have ______" and on and on. (though most of these regrets I hear from brides tends to revolve around the fact that they wish they would have spent less on items like their cake, their stationary, fancy flowers, and their dress...but I'm sure there are brides out there who wish the opposite, that they would have splurged more in certain areas). When my wedding is over and my marriage begins, I simply want to reflect on what a fantastic and spiritual celebration it was.

Regrets are something that many of us deal with - I know I do - though I wish I didn't. So, I think this is a proper wedding wish...that for our event I enjoy and appreciate every detail we design and never ever wish I would have done something different.


  1. Thanks for featuring my pic! :) My wedding wish for you is that you roll with punches... and that you do so with grace. The best weddings I've attended (and I've been to quite a few and observed them from behind the scenes) are people who "get" what the day is all about. If your flowers arrive and they're not what you ordered, if the cake is crooked, if the skies open and pour and you have to move to a less picturesque location, if your dress gets a scuff mark while you're doing pre-weddings photos (oops!) - all of these little glitches should be dwarfed by the much larger and significant event at hand: your marriage. Your excitement and happiness should overwhelm everything else that day - and then - nomatter what - you'll have no regrets. Even now as you're considering how and where to spend money... remember not to stress if you do or don't get certain things - because afterall - you're very lucky to have found love - and even if you got hitched in a small (ugly) court in a sundress - you're still getting to do something a lot of people only dream of - have someone... forever. Congrats on "officially" being fianced!! :)

  2. I love this. I'm just hoping that I'll look back & be happy on the things we splurged on. Personally, I'm never sorry when I find what I want for a bargain.

  3. even though i've only been married for a couple of months - i could care less about anything having been different for the wedding. being married is awesome and the thing I remember most is that feeling - of being surprised at the fact I did feel different and amazing. i kind of wondered if i would regret not having anyone there, but i don't at all. our marriage is about us and I'm glad that was what the wedding was about too.

  4. I agree with Sarah completely. The best weddings are the ones where everyone (including the bride) has a good time. It would be awful to be all upset over an imperfect cake and have that be the first party to kick off your marriage. :)

  5. thank you for this post. i am worried i will wish i had done something differently. it's so hard too seeing all these amazing pictures on blogs ya know? there's always new ideas popping up!

    i want to look back with my husband to be and not think about how we could have done this or that but just how it was all ours.

  6. I believe that because you are already so focused on that spiritual and romantic aspect of your wedding day that you won't regret a thing. I know we both feel regrets now, bridal/planning remorse and all, but once that day hits, we will both be so focused on what is important that all the peripherals will fade away. That is what has led us both to make the practical decisions that we've mad so far. And Sarah Neal is right, we have found love and this is the celebration of that love. That is what you were waiting for with the "real" proposal and you got it. The ceremony is going to be that much better! NO regrets, just woo hoo!

  7. what a great post! and, so great that you are aware of this kind of thing now. you will only have regrets if you make your wedding more about the details than about the wedding itself. just keep it in perspective and it will be the best day of your life! but, it is what happens after the wedding that matters! happy wedding!

  8. What a great point. I'm in the midst of planning what I want to be a personal semi-formal backyard garden wedding. I feel like I'm on overload - trying to figure out what would feel personal and special to us. I was never the girl who dreamed about her wedding day. I never had any expectations... if anything I just had a lot of - I am not doing that... in my head. I've just stumbled upon this amazing wedding blog community and it has inspired me so much I can't believe it... and it's posts like these that keep me grounded and remind me that no matter what - I want to be surrounded by family and friends and to celebrate us and everything else is a bonus. No regrets... just educated decisions and going with the flow...

  9. Oh such lovely comments on this post. You ladies made my heart swelll!!

  10. I have been a bad reader lately but I loved this post. We are two months away and there is a lot of pressure to make sure the day is perfect and there are times where I have caught myself saying "oh if only i hadn't done this at my parents farm it would have been so much easier." Your post reminds me that I have always wanted it at the farm and have never ever imagined having it anywhere else.

    Thank you and good luck with all your planning my friend!

  11. I agree with Sarah Neal's comment completely (she said it all so eloquently). Your marriage is what matters most. Just have fun, enjoy it, celebrate the fact that you've found somebody to love - fully and forever.

    P.S. In case this helps you, my "shoulda coulda wouldas" from my wedding day (7.5 years ago) are:
    1. We should have spent MORE on a photographer and less on everything else.
    2. We should have followed our hearts and bucked tradition.

    But you know what? Even the "shouldas" are inconsequential. I married the guy of my dreams and we're as happy as can be...and that is what matters.

    - Stephanie



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