Wednesday, August 12, 2009
wedding wish wednesday #12: bridesmaids
I ALWAYS knew who would be in my bridal party. My two sisters. Obviously. Never questioned it. And I never thought I would be one for a large bridal party. Probably mostly because I never thought about it.
Now here I am. Thinking about it. Not stressing about it....just thinking about it. I don't know how your lives have evolved, but mine has taken many directions over the years. I have so many different groups of friends scattered throughout the country. A best friend here, a soul mate there. A unique best friend, or group of best friends, from every chapter in my life and very few of those chapters overlap. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but my high school friends never became friends (um..or met) my Flagstaff college friends, and not all of my closest Flagstaff friends knew each other either. My beautiful besties in Rhode Island are all solid as a rock together...my rock... but they don't know my Arizona buds. And what about my soul sistah from med school? Or my closest sorority sisters? What do I do? I love these women...I adore them. Each one of them. It makes me sad to have to choose.
So now I take it back. I want them all to be there...up there...at the altar with me...as I take that step into the NEXT chapter of my life. I want to be like Kathryn Heigl in that movie 27 Dresses, where she has 27 bridesmaids :-)
But for a tiny mountaintop wedding, it would be rather ridiculous to have more people up at the alter than in the seats. I think perhaps sticking to family might be the best choice for me. Keep it simple...all my girls will be there...maybe not beside...but behind me...cheering!
It would have been...without a doubt...the most beautiful bunch of best friend bridesmaids you would have ever seen.
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I like keeping it simple with the fam and I agree that is a good choice but I have to say, it would be hysterical to see and endless supply of bridesmaids walking downthe aisle at a small wedding. Could you just imagine this crowd of girls all standing at the alter? It would make for some interesting pictures. I mean really, I was the best part of 27 dresses.
ReplyDeleteYou may not be able to have them stand next to you at the altar but you can involve them! I'm not sure who posted this idea on the weddingbee, but this bee had the idea of creating VIP passes inviting important women to join her in her bridal suite to get ready. I thought this was a perfect idea for brides that don't want brides maids or can only have a select few.
ReplyDeleteyeah when you have so many friends it's impossible to choose i think it's best to just stick to family in the wedding party. ...i mean you're friends are coming to the wedding because they're all so important to you. so everyone's important and loved even though they don't get to be bridesmaids and maybe you can involve them in some way like A little This says.
ReplyDeleteI was in a wedding with 9 bridesmaids, most of us didn't know eachother, but we all loved the bride and had a great time together. It was a small outdoor mountain wedding in Colorado, and I swear, there were more of us up there then in the seats, it looked a little crazy. The Bride knew that and didn't care, so just figure out what's you want and people can just get over it. It's a blessing to have sisters- my party was going to be my either 1 or 7 girls, I chose just my sister, made it much less stressful on me. I do have 5 personal attendants though- just the girls I want in the hotel drinking champagne and helping me get my dress on. So I may have cheated a little. Make sure you are up for all the fittings and jewelry if you have all your girls- I couldn't handle that, made the decision pretty easy.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the hugely long comment....
keeping it simple is great advice :) Like you said- they will be there to celebrate :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. I have dear friends who are like sisters to me. If we had chosen everyone we wanted, there wouldn't be many of our friends left in their seats!
ReplyDeleteIn the end it was an easy choice. I want my sister with me, just like she's stood beside me through everything else in life.
I know what you mean. There's my college friends, my I do'nt know what to do with myself so i"ll work at a camp for a few years friends, my med school friends, my residency friends, and now my fellowship friends. And I want them all there but I hate big groups of bridesmaids. I'm having my 3 best college friends and my brother :) But, I want to include everyone. I read some bride somewhere having the audience (that's not really the right word) read aloud the vows that we say "I do" to, instead of just the oficiant, cause its really going to be all the friends and family that help us through marriage and hold us accountable and support us so we want to include them all.
ReplyDeleteTimely! I was just thinking about this... even though my wedding is only two months away! We want to involve a bunch of friends & family in the ceremony, but not necessarily designate them as 'bridesmaids' and 'groomsmen.' It's taken us awhile to figure out what all those roles are. Some are obvious: ushering, playing music, doing readings, but there may be other roles too... We just want 'the Team' involved and supporting us.
ReplyDeleteI am having this exact same dilemma, only I don't have a sister or close family person to turn to. I really just don't want an of my friends to be hurt/angry if I don't include them!
ReplyDeleteMultiply the wedding party and you multiply your headaches.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'm really "bah humbug" about it. I must be a minimalist, because I actually wish we only had the bride and groom to focus on at ceremonies.
I say keep it intimate. You'll gain more than you miss.
LOL
Your friends might prefer to attend as guests. Being a bridesmaid can be quite expensive!
ReplyDeleteOk, this is a bit freaky. August 12th, youre 12th wish, 12 bridesmaids in the picture and....im the 12th comment!
ReplyDeleteOk, but really. Having two sisters myself, I absolutely know where youre coming from (theyve already planned this rotating maid of honor/god mother of first child scenario without my input, ha)
and you know we'll all be there to help you on that day, bouquet or no ;)
linda
I know how you feel! I have a group of friends back home, friends from college, a friend who lives in another state, cousins who are close friends, and friends where I live now! I've chosen just to do my oldest and dearest friends because we're a very tight knit group and I don't have any other large group of friends so no other group will get offended. Its a hard choice to make!
ReplyDeleteI like that!
ReplyDeleteI just have to say I'm loving that photo - the cowboy boots are perfect. So pretty. So Arizona.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I think sticking with your sisters makes sense. Friendships sometimes fade or "slip away," but sisters are sisters forever. :)
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net