One Love Photo: this girl has some serious bridal beauty going on...
I had a post all written about my LAST wedding wish to be for love and a happy marriage... yada yada. But....I'm not going to post it....because today, for the first time during this whole wedding thing I'm freaking out.
Ha!
No...not about any of the wedding stuff. With all that I'm good.
I'm freaking with my own physical insecurities. Maybe I'm just having one of "those" days. Ya know? Where you feel fat and ugly and frizzy and sloppy. Days like this are the worst.
I'm pissed I didn't exercise or diet at all...as I won't have that typical toned bridal body that many woman create for their big day. I'm getting married with my real bod...curves and bumps and backfat and all...maybe even a little more curves than usual.
Then my "look?" I'm not a stylist...I have no idea if the stuff I chose will coordinate nicely for this thing. I'm having serious second thoughts about everything I've chosen. Except for my shoes...my new yellow shoes are pretty fab.
I'm officially nervous about what I will look like. And I feel like an idiot for sharing that with you...except this is part of my journey. And I need to get over this because I sound freaking ridiculous.
WTF is wrong with me.
Nothing is wrong with you. And you're going to look freakin gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteYou will be gorgeous. I worried on the day before my wedding about my arms. It was not worth it. Repeat after me "not worth it." Get on your happy, happy, joy face and dance your ass off. That is what will be important.
ReplyDeleteWTF is wrong with you!? nothing. I'd like to ask WTF is wrong with our culture that focuses so much on how women look - thats what I'd ask.
ReplyDeleteIt comes and it goes and hopefully will be long gone for the wedding day.
I don't know you and have only seen a few photos of you on this blog - but I don't see how you won't look gorgeous! Because you ARE gorgeous!
I think its just one of those days! We all have them! I've been feeling like this on and off recently, especially as winter/spring is turning into summer, and all the sitting around I did in the winter is catching up with me :) You will look beautiful on your day! No matter what, the inner beauty will radiate through!
ReplyDeleteConfession: I have been reading your blog. I have been in awe of how much thought and how many special ideas you have put into your wedding day.
ReplyDeleteYou would look great with a paper bag over your head. Just enjoy!
Sarah B
You will be beautiful. Have you ever seen a photo of a bride who wasn't? Exactly. And you are beautiful to begin with (we've seen photos) so your joy will make it all even better.
ReplyDeleteAlso, what I leaned from by boudoir shoot was that how you *feel* is more important than how you actually look. Which hasn't changed at all since last week when you probably felt fine. It's a weird thing, but just eat healthy food from here to the wedding, avoid the alcohol, go for a long walk or two to ease stress/get exercise and you'll *feel* healthy and therefore beautiful. Treat yourself well, and your brain will respond in kind. (bonus: it helps you manage the last minute stress more effectively too.)
And if that doesn't happen, when you look down the aisle at your about-to-be-husband, all the mini-worries will fade away immediately. Your arms, tummy, whatever won't matter at all when you see him. Really.
Hugs.
What happened to the blue shoes? miss you and wish I could be there!
ReplyDelete-Linda
WTF is wrong with you... not a damn thing girl! Listen up... EVERY single bride has days like you are having, even IF they worked out non-stop and dieted to their waistline's content. It is the PRESSURE that is making you feel off... not your body! My advice, spend 20 minutes looking at your Epics and remind yourself that it is your SMILE that makes you beautiful!! I have a couple pictures from my wedding day where the back-fat makes me cringe... I just skip right on past it and look at one where I am killing myself laughing... that is beautiful!! And YOU will be FABULOUS on your day!!
ReplyDeleteNothing is wrong with you. It's what we do, we second guess. Take a chill pill...it's going to be perfect. Literally, it will be. If something doesn't happen that should have...no one will know but you...
ReplyDeleteYou are and will be beautiful. Period.
ReplyDeleteGo back and read all your posts marked "Victories" and fall in love all over again with yourself and the super-special wedding you've planned. You're one of my major inspirations!
I agree with everyone! You are going to be BEAUTIFUL a bride, my dear!
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT fat and ugly and frizzy and sloppy. You ARE young and pretty!!! And you put together things to wear that you LOVE. Hey when Sandra Bullock got married, her wedding dress maker kept telling her to lose 10 pounds and she never did. But she said that round shiny happy person that was there was her. And NO, you aren't round either. ;)
ReplyDeleteI feel the same. I have it my head that brides are supposed to be young and size 4 or smaller to be beautiful. I'm old and worn and all I see is the wrinkles and back fat and flabby arms... ugh.
ReplyDeleteHere is the reading from our wedding that makes me choke up every time:
“What is REAL?” asked the velveteen Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side in the nursery. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. Once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”
(from The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams)
I'm sure it is just one of those days. You're gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteI am terrified of having backfat on the wedding day. Not sure if I'm terrified enough to do anything about it though...
OMG--you are so NORMAL, and you are going to look HOT. There is nothing hotter than a woman who is exuding JOY.
ReplyDeleteMy piece of advice, take a prescription sleeping pill the night before the wedding to get your beauty sleep. I didn't sleep a wink the night before after taking 2 tylonal PM's and I woke up horrified at my huge bags under my eyes. Good sleep will make everything better!
That typical toned look is so 1995.
ReplyDeleteCurves are hawt.
Rock them.
We all have those days - but I promise your wedding won't be one of them, and you will look amazing (trust me, love does that...)
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've ever commented before but have followed your blog throughout planning my own wedding and it's the only one I still read three months later. You are one inspiring chick - thank you for sharing your journey. I wish you a wonderful wedding and an even better ever-after!!
We ALL go through this. You are going to look fabulous... and just like you! Don't let it get to you. The day of, you're not going to be able to wipe the smile off your face. That alone will shine through!
ReplyDelete"WTF is wrong with me."
ReplyDeleteYou are human.
Besides, who the heck goes "wth, did you see the bride, I mean, did she not exercise insanely before her wedding like the rest of us?"
If they do, they need to die. The end.