This is a debbie downer post...not gonna lie...so be prepared for my venting.
But today, this whole weekend actually, I really hated my job. Like - really. I didn't share one meal with my husband...I didn't laugh with him....nor did I partake in a single activity not related to work. You see, I was oncall - which is Hell around here. The typical 12 hour day turns into an 18 or 19 hour day...of emergency room visits, consults at various hospitals, rounding with different physicians, emergency surgeries....missing lunch and scarfing saltines on the run. I've been oncall for 72 hours straight. I miss my life.
Why would I chose this lifestyle? Why didn't I go into something that had NORMAL hours? Or at least bearable hours? Why did I go for the "doctor" tag with the horrendous hours, ridiculous oncall, and pressure of it all? I'm confused with myself. I'm not just talking residency - no doubt residency is it's own mini nightmare - but once I'm out, and a real podiatric surgeon on my own, getting called in the emergency room several times over one weekend...being pulled away from my family day in and day out...giving up the ability to plan vacations because patients always need you. Why did I do this again?? This is so stupid.
As the world of medicine changes, the life of doctors is looking really grim. A bunch of us were talking about it the other day - none of us have really even "started" yet since we are still in residency...but not one of us would have chosen this road again.
Ugh. I'm so grumpy. I can't believe I'm giving up being a stay at home mama for my baby for this shit. It makes me so pissed.
I start my plastic surgery rotation tomorrow. Please dear God let me love it.