Thursday, January 12, 2012

when breastfeeding ends

*note:  I tried and tried...for 30 minutes....for include a picture of Clara here...and the stupid thing wouldn't load.  And I'm tired of fighting I give up.  No picture for this post.*

Those who have followed my journey know that I had a love hate HATE relationship with breastfeeding.  It took about 3 solid months of it before I could honestly say it wasn't uncomfortable or painful.  I twas also a HUGE pain in my ass to pump religiously at work.  I'd sneak away between surgical cases, between clinic patients, between rounding on inpatients, and every lunch break (if there was a lunch a break).  I'd wake up at God-awful early hours to pump before going to work (like 4:30 or 5 am...yuck), and it would be the last thing I would do before going to bed. 

Weekends were Heaven when I would get to exclusively nurse Clara (and my evenings at home as well.)  It was a true labor of love to provide those meals to my sweet one.  And like I said, after 3 months of it, my body was adjusted to it and I came to look forward to that time together.  Best time of my day in fact.

I was determined to breastfeed for at least 6 months...that was my initial goal.  My training is rigorous and crazy and I didn't even know if I could do it that long - but I wanted to give it a try.  And then, once 6 months came and went and I wanted to keep going.  Tommy thought I was it was a real time commitment.  Yet, I was determined to nurse as long as I possibly could! 

At 8 months, Clara started getting quite fidgety while she nursed.  She became easily distracted and uninterested.  Despite the struggle, I continued to try and nurse...but it just wasn't meant to be.  She had decided to stop.  And, believe it or not, I was heart broken. 

Heart broken, that is, until she GOT TWO TEETH the very next week.  I think she chose to stop breastfeeding at just the right time.   (that's a joke...sortof.)

I must admit though, I miss it greatly. 


  1. Not many people know that it takes about nine months of breastfeeding to develop the highest visual acuity. Even La Leche Leaque doesn't include that piece of info, but there is a study on it.

    However, for YOU to accomplish EIGHT MONTHS, on YOUR schedule means you are a CHAMP. Most women would have cracked a whole lot sooner. ;)

    I think you and Tommy are wonderful parents and Clara is a lucky girl.

    I remember when my sister was nursing and we read the La Leche Leaque book. They did say that some babies would wean themselves and that's what Clara did.

    Hey, at least you didn't have to fight an uphill battle to wean her yourself! I hear that's very difficult for the mother when the baby still wants to nurse. No matter how gradually the mother tapers off, some babies cry. I think that scenario would be soooo difficult.

    BTW, my sister stopped at six months, and she was a stay-at-home mother. So, it's amazing that you've done so well on a schedule that would kill most of us mere mortals.

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  3. Congrats on making it 8 months! I'm always amazed when people don't even want to TRY breastfeeding... I also had the love/hate relationship- but mostly with my pump... I was SO happy to pack that thing up... but I do MISS nursing and the bonding time it provided for me and P!



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