When I divulge to people that I'm really a very shy person I usually hear, "what!?" "you're not shy! you're outgoing!". Well. Dude. It's the truth. It's possible to be outgoing and shy... I am. I'm not comfortable in crowds of people I don't know (random house parties = not always my scene), and sometimes I can even feel shy in a group of people I do know! I don't know what it is. Don't let me fool you, I make friends very easily, and tend to get along with many different types of folks (I am just really fascinated with people which is why I went into medicine in the first place). But, I still tend to be shy.
I've had a couple conversations with friends of mine that are brides-to-be. A couple of them are SO excited to walk down the aisle and have everyone smiling back at them...I am so not that way. I'm terrified of people looking at me. Especially from behind? Really? I can't even handle the thought of people watching me at all - my face is turning a little red just thinking about it. And it's not just the watching! It's the attention! I'm not really a center of attention kinda girl. Well, not usually. I have my moments.
I bet my best friends are reading this and rolling their eyes as they probably think I'm speaking nonsense. That's why they are my besties...they know me. I guess I will just bank on the fact that the crowd at our wedding will be full of my buds, in which case my nerves won't even show up at the door.
Sara wrote a little bit about this concept last week. Interesting stuff.
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wow... my sentiments EXACTLY! i could have written this post. my wedding is coming up on 08.08.09 and i am so nervous about having to walk down that aisle and about being the center of attention all day. but yes, let's keep in mind the room will be filled with people whom we love and who love us and that should give us some sense of calm.
ReplyDeletei get it. i'm generally a shy reserved person, but ironically i have a great need to have a lot of friends and love big parties, and when i'm drunk, you better get out of my way unless you want me to talk your ear off. i'm not so nervous about the walking down the aisle, more the public speaking part and baring my soul for all to hear. gives me the heebie jeebies.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah and i never would have guessed you're shy at all because you are so outgoing in the blogosphere!
ReplyDeleteJust remember: it's a very friendly crowd.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. Everyone I talk to about this rolls their eyes because I am friendly and fun, but I'm dreading it! Plus, my chest gets really splotchy when I'm nervous, which will make for GREAT pictures walking up the aisle. I read somewhere to just look at your groom and no one else and that's what I'm going for. Thank God the church has a really short aisle!
ReplyDeleteI just got in an argument with my man last night about how freaked out I am to be the center of attention. We're inviting all of these people that I don't really know, and some that I do but feel slightly, um, intimidated by.
ReplyDeleteI think it stems from being the only child on my mom's side of the family. I have always hated opening gifts on xmas because I distinctly remember the expectant and inevitably disappointed look on my Grandma's face when I wasn't sufficiently happy, or was too fake about being happy or... Just what the heck was her problem anyway? She's dead, doesn't get to go to the wedding and yet she's left me with this fear of being center of attention (or I'm just crazy).
Oh, and, all I can picture is the disapproving looks when I walk down that aisle in (gasp!) not white!