Monday, December 21, 2009

don't you want God at your wedding?

Awww...this picture is heartwarming... Alison Conklin Photography

*caution religious stuff ahead...*

I was dumb struck. Here was this girl. Telling me that she was going to get married in a church because she wanted God to be there, and then questioned "you're getting married outside? why don't you want God to be at your wedding?"


This is just one more element that confirms the fact that weddings make some people say/do really weird/freaky/tacky stuff. And with something this ridiculous, I just had to address it. Publicly.

I see God in nature. And not only do I see Him, but I experience God in nature. When I'm outside I feel the presence of all good things. It's more of a spiritual place for me than any church has ever been. What's perfect is that My Guy feels the same way. Getting married outside, in Flagstaff, is the perfect place for us.

My relationship with the church has shifted a bit over the years (this isn't exactly the place to discuss such things...sooo....). I realize that my religion believes the Eucharist to be the physical body of technically getting married in a Catholic church is literally getting married before Christ himself. Buuuuuuut...I know God to be everywhere. In the trees. The leaves. The sand. The rain. He's not one to be confined to a house of gold and colorful glass.

We chose our ceremony space based on what feels right for us spirituality, not necessarily based on the religious elements we hail from. I don't feel that we am loosing anything by doing this, and I certainly don't feel that God would rather us marry any other way.

He will be there. He always is.


  1. Amen.

    Some people do not have logical thoughts, which explains some of the nonsense you will hear.

  2. Yes, yes, yes. I had to explain this to my Mom who wanted us to marry in a church. I said many of the things you said and she understood perfectly.

  3. I agree with you 100%! I'm marrying a pastor, and if it werent for the fact that its going to be freezing outside, I'd get married in the midst of trees and nature too! God IS everywhere.

  4. My parents made the same comment to my sister when she wanted to be married outdoors. They got over it and the wedding was beautiful. God is omnipresent, therefore he is there with you even in the outdoors. And yes, what is more beautiful then enjoying His creation outdoors at your wedding.

  5. I could have written this post. How the hell are we so alike about everything?!

    You nailed it Jes. The top of the mountain is my favorite church. Give me spiritual any day, but I certainly don't need religion. It's so sad that people think that way, that they don't realize the freedom that's there for the taking. And they think that God is limited to the walls of a church. God? The Man? Pleassse.


  6. Hear, hear! I totally feel this post! I get this wonderful, incredible, spiritual sense of calm when I'm on the beach, and that's the feeling I wanted to have on my wedding day.

  7. Whilst I am not yet blessed with the gift of faith, if I understand correctly God is omnipresent and consequently it is futile to argue otherwise. Some people just enjoy being grumpy!!

  8. Jes, I love this post. Well said.

  9. I will weigh in as probably the most "churchy" person you've met. I got to church atleast twice a week... am very involved etc. and yet I see quite clearly that God is NOT in organized religion. I know that sounds conflicting. I go to church to be spiritually nourished by other people who believe the same waY I do... not because I think God lives only within those walls. If you don't find Him out in nature you're most certainly not going to find Him at church. Maybe a cold formal tradition that you may mistake as it - but it's not. People are a little mislead - Jesus himself said "Where two or three are gathered in my name - there will I be". SO... since I know there will be atleast two of you at your wedding I positive He'll be delighted to attend. I myself chose to get married at a historic house and I had no doubt God was with us. As a side note... just the other day a family with misguided "good" intentions said we "probably should have gotten married in the church." Oh well... you can't please everyone.

  10. I agree with you completely. I received those comments too, many from my own family. I was sad they couldn't see what I saw- He is everywhere + I felt like we were making the right decision. In the end it's your wedding + what you want + believe are all that matter. Beautifully written lady :] xo.

  11. God created the world, not the building.

  12. I used to a big Jesus freak (seriously. Then I started having sex) so I understand why this girl feels the need to talk to you about God, because it is sort of mandatory in most churches to spread the Gospel, and in most instances, it is a very narrow minded interpetation.

    But I think faith is such a deeply personal thing that it secretly makes me very angry when anyone tries to "save me" or tell me what God is. It's like, hey, I'm not knocking on your door to push Darwin every Saturday morning.

    That said, when I did believe in God, I did believe that he was everyone. And I think the Bible clearly makes that case. So don't worry what anyone else believes. As long as it is right for you, that is all that matters.

  13. Agreed. Many of my most "spiritual" moments have happened outside of the walls of church. Almost all of them, in fact.

  14. Agree completely!! My fiance and I are having our ceremony in the garden courtyard area of our reception venue and we had so much trouble getting someone to agree to marry us. We were rejected by both a Catholic and an Anglican minister - both of whom said that it was impossible for them to marry us in a garden rather than in a church.

    I think your plan to get married on a mountain in the middle of God's creation will be an incredible spiritual experience!!

  15. Amen. (is it weird to say that?)

    I probably shouldn't say this (feel free to delete it and I won't be hurt). I think that's the same kind of naivete that leads to hypocritical "sunday christians." you know the type - "god forgives me on sunday so I'm free to act however I please, however rudely because I'm better than you."

  16. During most of history, couples did not get married inside churches, as marriage was a civil act.

    Later on they started to get married in front of the church doors. And still later, they began to get married inside churches.



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