Tuesday, January 12, 2010
the stress of "pick your own dress"
I never wanted a matchy-matchy bridal party. Most people do. So again, don't be offended that I don't.* I was overjoyed when I started seeing the mis-matched look in wedding photos - I really think it looks crazy chic. Plus, I've never met a bridesmaid dress that I would want to wear in "real life" - and I'm big into buying things I will wear over and over again. (Also, I think bridesmaid dresses are ri-dic-u-lously expensive...especially for only wearing it once.)
I thought my choice to have my bridesmaids wear whatever they wanted in GRAY was rad. Obviously. Every bride thinks their choices are rad...right? Well, GRAY is my favorite color and I think it's flattering on everybody - especially as there are so many shades - blah blah blah.
Little did I know this would become an source of minor torture for my ladies. In early December one of them started looking for a dress, and contacted me because she wasn't finding ANYTHING. I searched frantically online and emailed her a few options. She immediately went out and bought one (a divine one none-the-less). But the fact that she was freaking out, made me freak out. So I started emailing dress options to everyone else.
Fast forward four weeks. The after Christmas sales have begun and three of the other ladies start looking for dresses. Individually they scoured the Phoenix and Scottsdale malls. Hit up every freaking department store, JCrew and Banana Republic. They were stressed. Like, actually stressed....like, "this isn't fun" stressed. My sister and one of the other bridesmaids actually bought the SAME dress on accident. Inducing more stress. I offered to go with my sisters, take back the redundant dress, and help them...because...well...they were stressed.
Holy nightmare of a day.
They tried on every effing gray dress we could find...dresses they didn't even like...but because they were gray they would try anyway. I started to feel our claws come out. They made me so stressed that half way through the painful afternoon I just gave up and told them to wear black dresses. That I didn't care anymore.
But. Miraculously we found some glorious gray ones...as luck should have it, the last store in the mall had oodles of lovely lovely lovely options. And everyone was happy again. (Yay!)
So. I guess picking out bridesmaid dresses for your ladies saves them the drama and stress of finding one on their own as it takes the guess work out of "what the bride wants." Except in this case, the only thing the bride wanted was for the girls** to wear gray dresses they chose, they liked, and one that they hopefully didn't spend a fortune on.
*I'm sensing that some people, in my real life, are taking offense to the fact that I don't want the same things that they had at their own weddings. We all are entitled to like different things! It's OK that I don't want the big princess gown, the professional up-do, the DJ with maracas, or to release butterflies. People can do things differently and it isn't "better" or "worse" - it's just different.
**Sorry for the stress ladies. Your are all so beautiful...and your dresses are fabulous!