Wednesday, January 13, 2010

wedding wish wednesday: #23 budget

AA Photography - this will be me on our day...skipping through the meadow with a smile on my face...

I don't think I've ever come right out and divulged our actual wedding budget. As we are paying for the wedding ourselves, and my future hubby is a teacher, and I am still a student, you can probably deduce that our budget is teeny tiny. Well, teeny tiny compared to some, rather hefty compared to others. Whatever you call it - we have stepped over the limit.

I have indulged myself in a few things that were unnecessary for our "simple" wedding. And yet, some of these splurges sit OK with me. Yet, every now and then, when I actually look at our numbers (I track my budget on Martha Stewart's site) I want to roll up into a ball and hide under the coffee table until the noise stops.

Money just makes me sick to my stomach. If someone told me that our lil wedding would cost as much as it actually does I would not have believed them. Part of that is my fault. Part of that is just the reality of the wedding industry. I've been feeling so much financial anxiety about this that a part of me wishes we could just scrap the whole thing (that sounds wickedly pessimistic and angry...and it's neither...I'm still beyond enthusiastic/ecstatic/delighted about our nuptials and the party that will's just gotten a little out of control). But is what it is.

My wish is this:

I don't want this wedding budgeting to drive me crazy or sad. Right now, it's causing me a little of both. But I want to get over it. I hope that I don't continue to see the budget swarming around and around in my brain when I close my eyes.

I would hate to feel a pang of regret every time I think about our wedding. I don't want to b*tch about the budget to other people. I don't want to beat myself up about it. I want to release it. Deal with it and move on.

I'm crossing my fingers that my thoughts and memories of the wedding will NOT revolve around our budget. But will instead focus on the moments, the emotions, and the magic of the day.


  1. Ive been thinking about this too-- so long as I can pay for all the major expenses-- hotel, food, drinks-- I can splurge on other things. I dont think I want to keep track of how we are spending as we go. I'll add it up in the end. Maybe that would be less stressful?

  2. I didn't track my wedding budget. I think that helped me not focus on it. A good thing that helped me was that I ended up saving a lot on the big stuff so when I splurged on the cute details, it didn't sting as much!

  3. I got married in 1995 and I could have written this post, except there was no internet back then. ;-)

  4. I definetely feel you on this topic...i keep cutting back...looking for alternative options and thinking what I can absolutely do without. I don't think doing away with keeping track is the answer...but prioritizing the "must haves" and leaving behind the things that your heart isn't set on. Easier said than done, I know! Here is what I cut back on:

  5. Personally, I think the planning stages of the wedding are going to be the worst as far as worrying about money goes.

    I know this sounds like an obvious statement but I don't think you'll have to worry about your thoughts and memories of the wedding revolving around the budget. Right now, everything seems to be piling up and is causing stress and while it's a perfectly understandable(and a mutually shared feeling amongst thousands of brides) it will not last forever.

    At the end of the day and in the years following your wedding I think the money that was spent will be the farthest thing from your mind.

  6. Budgets are a pain. We're paying for our wedding ourselves as well and have already encountered a couple setbacks, one that made us move the wedding back 9 months.
    I'm hoping we *loosely* stick to our budget. If its a bit over (as in up to 1,000) I'm not going to cry. If its under, even better! After the party is over and when we're still making payments I'm sure it will all be worth it. try not to stress out, when will you throw yourselves a party like this again? Right? Right.

  7. Let me tell you I felt EXACTLY the same way. There were many days I wanted to cancel the wedding [eek!] I just couldn't stand the thought of spending that much money on one day. However as soon as the day was over, so was the budget stress. Sure we may have spent too much, but at the end of the day & looking back, we honestly only think of the good. In fact, as of late, I've found myself saying more and more "THAT was worth the splurge" when referring to our wedding! XO!! XO!!

  8. When Jordan and I sat down to pick out a budget we set out a range of what was acceptable for us to spend. We chose our number knowing that we would *probably* go over it and if we did that we could still live with ourselves. In the end it didn't help much with the anxiety because we were really tied to our number. And besides, who wouldn't feel anxiety about spending that much money (because no matter what number it is, it's going to feel like a lot)?

    I suggest that you ignore the total in the last few weeks when you are paying the things that you have to pay for. You can't change it so why worry about it?

    I'll admit that I worry about money more than the average person. When it was all over I had bad feelings about the few areas where I was not satisfied with what I got for my money, but it DEFINITELY didn't cloud my whole wedding. I'm never going to regret spending the money for our wedding (and trust me, I thought that I would A LOT beforehand). I think that even if you happen to be even more uptight than me (doubtful) that you won't have those feelings either. I hope that's reassuring to you.

  9. This is a toughy! On one hand, I agree that once your wedding has come and gone, so will your budget related stress (unless you charge elements of your wedding without being able to pay them off right away!).

    But on the other hand, I think it's a very slippery slope to start justifying overages by saying that it's just one day - and a very important one at that - and that it won't matter once it's over. And once you've given yourself permission to go over budget on one element, it's that much easier to give yourself permission to do so on another and then another and then another, until all of the sudden you realize that you left your budget in the dust.

  10. Budgets will and should eat at you a little, but i think that means you are doing it right. You are being cautious with a few splurges. That being said. since you are paying the money - make sure you enjoy EACH SECOND of it b/c memories are priceless! Stay positive. I wish money grew on trees - i'd definitely share it with you.

  11. I just stumbled upon your blog but on reading this post - I'm right with you. I don't wanna be crazy or sad either over all this! Glad to know someone else feels the same way.
    Great blog!



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