Wednesday, April 28, 2010

wedding wish wednesday #32: don't get jaded

awwww...such a lovely Flagstaff moment by Melissa Dunstan Photography.
I hope that this is how "into" the moment I am at my wedding...
that I don't even notice who didn't show up...or who skipped out early...or who showed up late...

One of the funniest things to talk about with my married friends is their own weddings.  So many random events happen to people involving their wedding...and most of these "random" things aren't always funny at the time.

For example (these are actual events that happened to my friends!!)

1. The florist showed up with 2 dozen roses when the couple paid $1200 for their flowers (the florists' shipment never made it in...and no...they didn't get their money back)   (yikes right?)

2. getting text messages from friends the morning of the wedding who were "too hung over" to make it to the wedding  (ouch.)

3. or the friends who didn't show up to the wedding at all and then sortof pretended nothing had happened when they ran into them again.  (weird.)

4. or the estranged family relative who hadn't talked to anyone in years and proclaims, the morning of the wedding, that he is coming!  And bringing his new wife! and three new kids!  (Ahhhh!!)

5. or the sorority sister that came and got so wasted she got up to give a speech and confessed she always thought she would end up with the groom...or the bride's brother.  (omg...I was at this one...I wanted to hide under the table.)

6. umm..this one happens to almost everyone I know...people don't show up who RSVP.  Seriously...eff that noise. (I guess this is like #5....but it's worth it to have it in here twice.)  I have friends who remember exactly who their wedding ditchers were...well...most couples do I suppose.  You purposefully and thoughtfully invite your closest friends and family...and then shell out a mini fortune to ensure their attendance is met with food and drink and general merriment... and when they don't show up, they are missed.  It's a hard thing to let go.  (From what I's really hard to let go.)

7.  oooor the florist who was suppose to bring flowers for the wedding cake...but decorated the cake with dead flowers no not dried flowers...dead wilty flowers...on second thought, they weren't exactly dead...just tired...they just weren't what the bride expected.  (except, honestly nobody noticed...except the bride...which makes sense because she ordered it to look one way...and it didn't turn out that way.)

8. how about our friends who got married at a super swanky country club.  They filled big baskets with all sorts of "goodies" for the female bathroom...perfume, hairspray, mints, lip gloss, gum...I dunno other stuff.  It got stolen.  Within 20 minutes of the actual reception starting!  (who does that?)

9. ooor the "friend" who found out someone was dissing her wedding details...(shameshameshame... I've learned my lesson from this horrible situation... .I hope if people decide to say unkind things about the way I crafted my wedding I will be a class act about it like she was.)

10.  Or my friend who ordered a white wedding cake and paid $800 for it...then cut into it only to find it was chocolate - a flavor she happens to be allergic to.  (this would really really piss me off.)

11. Or the friend (of a friend) who had her dress ruined by the people who were altering it for her...the shortened the hem about a foot too much!  She had to buy a new gown!!  (mini nightmare...expensive nightmare)

These are random.  And somewhat horrific.  But some of these stories are told with smiles and laughs...a tiny bit of bitterness I suppose...but really...most of my friends keep these dark little tales in the past.  If anything remotely drama-filled happens at my wedding I hope I can flip my "selective memory switch" and flush it outta the brain.  Thankyouverymuch.


  1. Oh my gosh, I want to be amused by these, but the thought that they could happen at anyone's wedding freaks me right out. Those poor couples.

  2. I've planned enough events to know that something will go wrong. No doubt about it. My mother still half-jokes about everything that went wrong at her wedding. But seeing the list of things that actually went wrong - some I'm fully prepared to let go of, and some are... ouch. I'm already working on my wedding mantra (for planning and day of), and I'm holding onto J as my center throughout this (especially with the larger ouch issues). I may have a moment, but so long as we keep the relationship central and sacred (no low blows from wedding stress) it will be okay. And I'm trying to remember that it's only money (because darn, we've had things go wrong already too.)

  3. #6! It seems nearly inescapable. I had a friend tell me before the wedding "people will disappoint you." I didn't believe her - most everyone I expected to be there had RSVP'd affirmatively. A couple of those were verbal though: "of course I'll be at your wedding! What's the date again?" But then... then a few who I considered close friends bailed at the last minute. It did sting - still does. Be prepared....

  4. these problems would kill me. I hope I would be mature and ignore it, but knowing my temper and control freak nature, I would probably be angry. Honestly, it is one of the reasons I didn't want vendors. No reason to give a stranger all my money and then have them screw up.

  5. OMG, these always seem funny when they happen to someone else but if you think about it, they're not funny at all. I'm wishing and praying for a near perfect day and like cupcake says, i don't know how well I would be able to ignore them, especially the embarrassing toasts.

  6. I'm really glad you posted this because I KNOW there will be issues at our party and I'm already dreading them. I can only pray that I will be classy because honestly there are just some things I know I cannot handle (too much of a hothead). Thanks for the reminder!

  7. some of these made me cringe- like the dress and the cake and the flowers especially- you can't control the guests at all.....but the vendors- you are putting so much trust in them, and paying them!!!!!

  8. Having gone thru it all, I have to say, there will be things that disappoint you, people who let you down, etc. But at the end of the day, all that matters is that this day was about you, not everyone else. Plus theres the thing called karma that will eventually roll its way around to those that let you down. When I noticed the missing people at our wedding, or the details that didn't quite turn out, you have to let it go and live in the moment of you and your beloved.

  9. oh my goodness, some of these are horrifying specifically the one about the sorority sister! thanks for the good laugh but ouchie!

  10. ummm... #3/#6 make me laugh... cause it is sooo true. I was so looking forward to seeing certain friends and totally noticed when they (ok, she) blew off the wedding to hang out with her new boyfriend. Ummm, it's almost been 6 years, time for me to get over it!

  11. Yes indeed. I know SOMETHING is going to go awry... maybe more than just one thing, too. But I hadn't thought about the PEOPLE letting me down. That's a bummer. But being prepared for it will help us through it quicker, I suppose. And then maybe even laugh about it one day. :)

  12. My florist did not show up with my bouquet before we walked down the aisle. I quickly got over it especially after it did show up later and weighed like 20lbs. Happy I was with a "mother's bouquet" that I stole from my mother. But you better believe I got that money back! Yes the things will happen, but don't get bent out of shape. So not worth it!

  13. The pastor at my best friend's wedding called the groom by the wrong name during their vows. As in, do you WRONG NAME, take BRIDES NAME blah blah. Awkward.

    I am totally already feeling the people will disappoint you bit.

  14. This kind of freaks me out.

    I say that I am expecting things to go wrong, but secretly I hope they won't.

  15. thanks for the laugh!

    at a friends wedding the caterer was late, only brought half the food and it was cold. It was buffet style, but still, Can you imagine?

  16. Well, one bride in the blogosphere experienced what can go wrong just before her wedding this past weekend. She hired a photographer from the blogosphere who lives in Scotland and the volcano in Iceland almost prevented her from making it to the U.S. in time to photograph the wedding.

    How many of us worry about volcanos? ;)

  17. It's funny that you chose this photo for your post, because, in this particular photo, something just terrible had just happened, but, I can't remember what. The reason I can't remember is that the groom grabbed his beautiful bride, and began singing to her in a sweet, off-key voice. I was so enchanted by that moment, and capturing it, I can't even remember what that terrible thing was. This is definitely what real moments are made of. In my years of photographing weddings, I've learned that something is bound to happen to stress out the families and couples. But, almost all my couples have been able to realize as long as they both are there, in each others arms, just about nothing else really matters.

  18. At the wedding of my husband's brother and his wife, the priest got the name of one of them wrong. I think they didn't get worked up about it though, thankfully.

    We had a few people who had RSVPed to our wedding who did not show, but I think they all seemed to have good reasons, like a flight being delayed and a work thing coming up. And I think someone was sick. So, whatever... :)



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