Monday, May 24, 2010

compromises...and dollar dances

I remember when our engagement first began and I was naive to the planning of weddings.  I thought for sure all of my ideas were unique, tasteful, and rather lovely (ha! don't we all!).  There were things about traditional weddings that I swore up and down I wouldn't incorporate into ours...  like large bridal parties, dollar dances, and garter groping.   I knew we would only invite our closest friends and family, we'd have a divine stationary suite that I would hand make (something frame-able...honestly...that was what i wanted...something frame-able), a scrumptious fillet Mignon dinner and a sweet top shelf open bar.

Reality.  We have a few people coming that neither of us have met, and a few people we aren't even particularly close with.   We didn't end up with a stationary suite (and none of our paper products match at all)...we don't have menu cards or hand drawn local maps.  We're serving chicken....and our open bar consists of wine and beer (they are on their own for the rest!).  We also ended up having a huge bridal party of 10 people.  AND I'm participating in to the dollar dance.  *smile* 

I've seen the dollar dance at almost every wedding I've ever been to.  And heck yes I've paid to dance with those grooms!  And I always enjoy it!  But, for some reason, for my wedding, the whole idea made my skin kinda crawl....I feel weird asking for money.  I dunno.  But my fiance is so excited about it I just didn't have the heart to tell him no....again.  I'm already saying "No way" to the garter grope, and the bouquet toss....and to a couple other ideas he's liked (I know that sounds horrible, but his and my ideas aren't always on the same page...though...for the most part, they are.)  He's clearly more fun, and less stuffy, than I am. 

Anyway.  We'll be dancing.  For money.  At our wedding.   Obviously, I realize that this will be hella fun.  It will actually be nice to have a few moments with these fine fellas of ours. 

Any idea of how long this is supposed to last???


  1. I'm so excited you're doing the dollar dance! I thought I might be one of the lone bloggers out there on the dance floor gettin cash for a dance. It will be nice to dance with people one on one for a bit.

    I'd say you have to gauge how long it lasts by how many people are standing in line to dance with you and the groom. At the weddings I've been to, the line starts to dwindle at some point or the line is all filled with repeat guests. It will depend on how often you switch partners too - which I would guess to be around every 15-30 seconds or so. Maybe the length of time depends on how much money the guest gives! Ha, I didn't realize how complex a dollar dance could be!

  2. My groom is vehemently against the dollar dance, but I thinks it's cool to get a chance to dance with everyone who wants to. I'd love to have that chance. Last reception I was at that had one they made everyone take a shot of wild turkey before they got to dance!

  3. I've never actually seen a dollar dance, I don't think it's an African-American tradition, I dunno but I would love to dance with most of my guests or those who want to dance with me. Getting paid would just be an added bonus. ha, ha

  4. I've only attended one wedding that had the dollar dance (that I remember anyway). Rather than dance with the groom, I danced with the bride. I think it only lasted through one song. Word of warning - beware the drunk guest who wants to dance with you for too long. Stick to 15-30 seconds and move on. I'm sure it will be tons of fun!

  5. I think you are being a great sport for your guy :) Isn't it funny how those promises to yourself in the beginning of the planning break down over time...and that it matters less and less as you move forward?

    One of the most recent weddings I went to had a dollar dance to "purple rain" by Prince and it was honestly one of the most moving parts of the reception. The best man and maid of honor stood by collecting the money and politely disconnecting guests who wanted to dance a little too long!

  6. Funny dollar dance story: I was the Maid of Honor at a friends wedding last summer, so I was in charge of the line for her - taking money, counting time, haggling people for money lol. And here comes one of her uncles. I ask if he wants to dance and he says great, so I'm looking for the money and he says he doesn't have any. "gotta pay to dance" says I. So uncle runs off to grab cash, comes back, gives me money, and then grabs my hand and waist.

    He then proceeds to get upset as I reject him and embarrassed as it becomes pretty obvious that I was working the dollar dance line for the bride.

    WTF did he think I was asking for money for? and he was gonna pay me to dance with me!?!? messed up, sad, and creepy all wrapped up into a divorced uncle burrito. :(

  7. I've read about the dollar dance for years, but never saw one. It's unique to some cultures. I thought it was more common in the mid west and north east?

  8. I feel you on the guest list compromise issue. That was the hardest for me to deal with. I just hate the idea of strangers at my wedding.

    As for the dollar dance, I think you just have to wing it with the length depending on how many people participate, but I'd say have a firm cutoff of two songs.

  9. I never saw one in the NYC/Cali/Taiwan weddings I've attended but I'm very intrigued! Report back!

  10. I think it only lasts a song or two. And you trade off every 30 seconds or so. Hope you enjoy yourself. I think the guests enjoy the dollar dance more so than the bride and groom.



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