back to being a mom again.

I haven't really talked about being back at home with my family after my rotation in Baltimore was completed.  You may recall that I enjoyed my experiences down there - had some great adventures and was a part of some truly miraculous surgeries.  But it was torturous to be away from my little one.  Now,  I've been home for nearly 4 weeks.  I can tell that the absence changed something in me.  For example...

I would venture to say that I am even more protective of my time with Clara.  I still come home from work and leave my cell phone unattended...don't answer phone calls...don't blog or check Facebook.  I don't typically sit and watch TV while she is awake...I don't study or really clean either.  (I don't anticipate this will be how it will always be...but for right now it's the only way I want it to be.)

Instead, we play.  Or I sit and watch her play.  Or I take her for a run (*note...this has really only happened a couple of times...)  Or we read.  Or she reads and I watch her turn the pages of her colorful board books as she babbles to herself.  I try to memorize her movements...her chubby little wobbly legs working so hard to stabilize her stance.  I want to remember her musical giggle...and how she can say "ball" "book"and "bottle" in the same sweet "bah" tone.  I want to carry with me the rolling humm she makes while she sucks her thumb and rubs her blankie on her cheeks.  I have committed to sacred memory the first time she stumbled over to me from across the room, wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me....and gave me a kiss...without being prompted.  Melted my heart into a puddle of love at her tiny toes.

I just can't believe how fleeting this all is. 

I jump to do all of the diaper changes, dinners, bath times, and story times.  I typically put her to bed these days, and wake her up each new day.  I strive to plan nutritious and tasty breakfasts and dinners.  Now that Tommy is teaching full time (did I mention that?) I think he appreciates the free time to get his lessons/grading accomplished.  I know I sound like a crazy Clara-hog...but worry not.  Tommy is home with her for a couple hours each night before I get home...so they get time together too!  Those two are besties. 

Perhaps my home time isn't that much different than before I went to Baltimore.  But, it feels different.  It doesn't feel like work.  It is my bliss.