Tuesday, April 21, 2009

confessions of a crazy

Psyche Revived by the Kiss of Love (my fave sculpture) by Antonio Canova via flickr

OK. I have a confession to make. A confession that only a COUPLE of my reader/blogger friends know. I'm not technically, officially, really engaged. *nervous laughter*

I figured that if I'm really going to take this whole bridal blogging thing seriously and do it honestly and feel right with it, than I need come clean. (This is also why I have one friend, one real life friend anyway, who I've told about my blog in the first place. She won't judge me on being ridiculous.) *again, nervous laughter*

My Guy and I have been together since the summer of 2004 (nearly 5 years). We were long distance for the first two and a half, and then when he finished college he moved to Arizona to be my lifeline while I battled med school. Yet, it was after our first year together that we knew that we had found our life companion in each other. We started dreaming about our future together when we were living in Flagstaff during the summer that marked our 1 year anniversary (greatest summer ever).

So. Part of this story revolves around medical school and the ridiculous sacrifices one has to make in order to survive it. Thankfully I met and fell in love with My Guy long before the torture of med school ate me up - he was there to help me, support me and comfort me when the breakdowns would hit. Oh. And they used to hit often. I don't think I would have been able to handle it all if it wasn't for him...honestly.

This upcoming year I will be traveling to different rotations around the country beginning in September (actually, beginning now...as I've spent the last month living and breathing in Seattle at a surgical rotation). So in the fall I leave for a month to Boston, followed by a month in Philadelphia, a month in New York and a month in Providence. When I get back to Arizona in January, I will be living in Tucson, about a 2 hour drive away from our home in Phoenix, for 3 months. Then, back to Phoenix for one month. Then one month later I graduate (becoming an official doc...holy cow) and move two weeks later to whatever surgical residency program I match with.

Do you see how this is nuts? Where does wedding planning fit in? Menu/cake tasting? Photographer interviewing? Florist meetings? See. It doesn't. When the two of us figured out that the next year is going to be madness we knew we had to act now, or wait four years until residency is completed (there are no vacations in residency. I'm not kidding.).

So. We've decided on a date: May 30, 2010 (one week before I graduate, three weeks before we move to who-knows-where). We've decided on a location: Flagstaff, AZ. We've narrowed down a couple of venues, I've talked to a photographer, potentially secured a dress, and have been keeping my lil inspirations posted on this blog so I can keep those ideas alive.

But. We still aren't officially engaged. Our parents have yet to be informed. (did you gasp? I do when I think about it - the two of us are super tight with our families). Why secrecy? Mostly, because we are still students and unemployed. We want to approach this good news with our families when we feel secure, aware, and adult and have an income. Plus, even though we already know we'll be together till we are wrinkly, My Guy reallllllly wants to propose *makes me blush* with a ring and I don't want to take that away from him. I think it's adorable.

Now you know. Go ahead. Think I'm a crazy. I agree.

Crazy in love.


  1. you know what's really crazy?! your schedule for next yr with all that traveling! is that normal for med school? does he travel with you? i think it's good you got this head start on planning since you'll be so busy leading up to the wedding.

  2. I think we might have been sisters in another lifetime!! We had booked our venue, our photographer, and our caterer, plus, I had my dress, months before he officially proposed. We too kept the secrets from our family (good and bad results came of that), definitely had our arguments about WHEN the proposal was going to come, but looking back on it, it all makes us laugh now :) Tell your family when you are ready, and try not to stress too bad about when he will put a ring on your finger... it could drive you crazy!! the title of my blog is definitely reminiscent about the conscious decision a couple makes when they decide to spend their lives together... planning the day after that decision is all that counts (ie. not the engagement date!!)

  3. Such honesty...good for you. Besides, who didn't start thinking about their wedding when they knew they met the right person, regardless of when the ring came. Now I can't wait to hear the engagement story...when it happens. From the things you have said about him I'm sure it will be incredible!!!

  4. New favorite phrase: you rock my face off. love it.

  5. So sweet! I can relate on several fronts: my fiance and I discussed a lot of details, including the timing, size & style of the wedding before we were engaged (similarly planned around academic schedules); our parents might've suspected that something was afoot, but didn't know anything official until we had something official to tell them (we also wanted to feel solid in the decision and plans); and, few of my real life friends know of the existence of my wedding blog :)

    You'll do great! Having put this plan in motion will give you something awesome to look forward to, along with your med school graduation!

  6. Girl, you are smarter than I am, waiting till its all over :). I decided to get married this summer (after my first year of graduate school) because we already lived together and I was excited....but man oh man is wedding planning/ grad school stressful!

    Congrats on your upcoming graduation!

  7. you're not crazy. :) i had already discussed the food we'd have at the wedding with my mother before my fiance and i had even decided we were getting engaged. we had discussed where/when we'd want to get married before it was for sure. and then we picked out my ring together, and i waited patiently for the proposal that i knew was going to happen. it is cute, you're right.

    also, i love your blog. i always find great inspiration here. good luck with the continued crazy traveling!

  8. Alright, so I guess since you're coming clean (I commented you before reading this) I'll come clean too. My fiance and I have been talking about getting married for a long while and when we decided it should be in 2010 we didn't actually become engaged. Well...WE didn't consider ourselves engaged at that point but low and behold his family seemed to think so, so ever since November at his Aunt's wedding I have been introduced to his family as his fiance. Wasn't a big deal since it would eventually happen, but still weird, you know? And he to, wanted to wait till he had a ring, but finally realized that our sanity was worth more than (well...maybe just mine) waiting for a ring. So don't worry, you are not alone. =]
    Oh and I think its funny that your date is close to the time we've considered getting married ourselves- this whole planning and sharing ideas is going to work out perfectly!

  9. Some people feel the need to have a ring to make it official, others just know it in their heart. You ARE OFFICIALLY engaged b/c you two have already made that promise and commitment to one another, and isn't that what an engagement really is! I can't wait for your post abut when you tell the parents :)

  10. I came across your blog looking for wedding ideas in Flagstaff and had to laugh when I read this post. I'm in the same spot, almost exactly. My guy and I have started talking time, location, and what we'd like it to be like, but we're not officially engaged yet. He wants to propose, and I love it. Funny thing is he's wanting to get married in the summer/fall of this year but it seems like we're not really getting serious about the planning until I have a ring on my finger. I guess pushing it so close will keep things interesting! Being from the northwest and currently living in the dry desert of Tucson, a simple mountain wedding is perfect. Thanks for sharing all your ideas, I'll need them!

  11. We had already booked our venues, decided on a photographer, and I had my dress all before we got "officially" engaged. J even got annoyed with one of the bm's because she questioned us doing all of that before getting engaged. He felt like we already were even though I didn't have a ring yet.

  12. So i came across your blog today and i'm totally in the same situation. My future fiance and i knew we were going to be with each other for the rest of our lives from 3 months of dating. he actually knew BEFORE we started dating! but yeah, totally planning our wedding to the T. i've been called crazy countless times and gotten countless demeaning looks. but hey, when you know, you know.

  13. I recently found your blog, and am reading backwards...this post...girly, I'm right there with you. I'm in my 4th year of med school too. I understand away rotations, the interview trail, and all the stress.

    I met my sweetie the summer before I started-when I was absolutely positively not looking to be dating anyone. But I couldn't not date him! He was great! He is still great, many come-home-crying-can't-go-i-have-to-study-and-am-on-call-all-weekend's later. We've been engaged a year and a half, tentative date for May 15, 2010-the week after I graduate...the exact same time frame and reasons as yours (except I'm peds, not surgery).

    Hugs to ya, and remember that even if you don't get around to 3 cake tastings, planning a floral theme based on an inspirational modern poem, or other wedding planning trappings-you're gonna go home from that first MD level night of call to your husband-and that'll be fantastic!

  14. Okay.... shush shush... I understand. My guy and I have set down out date to be "engaged". We are timing and "sign" oriented.

    December 21, 2010 - Full Moon/Full Eclipse of the moon... Sometime around 3in the morning.

    Why? Because... it's special, it means something...

    Our wedding date? August 31, 2012. Why? Full moon... and it's a Blue Moon.

    So... I'm planning now. Buying things, reading your blog and getting soooo much inspiration!

    I'm so glad I'm NOT the only one. So.... Shhh... it's a secret, you're the only one who knows... I've got 10 months before I get to "officially" announce it! :)



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