Wednesday, March 17, 2010

wedding wish wednesday #29: ditch bitching

How divine to be so intimately surrounded by loved ones during the ceremony...
One Love Photo

I've been reading over some of my past posts and some of them are quite annoying. I find myself complaining about stuff....venting about insignificant things...making mountains out of mole hills...and (unintentionally) inventing drama for myself to deal with. Doy.

Sometimes I feel as if it is Tommy and I against the world with this wedding of ours...except it's really not like that. There really aren't "sides." At all. Because our community of friends and family are the only ones in the world lifting us up! Celebrating our union! LOVING us sooooooooo ridiculously much! How could I fault them for having an opinion about cake flavors, dinner menus or our first dance? (and just for the has opinions about those things.) Why did I let myself get heated about how hard it is to pay for this wedding? Or stress if I should wear a veil? Seriously? If we really couldn't afford a wedding, we should have opted to have a meaningful courthouse celebration - I mean really - why complain about these blessings?? I'm literally cracking myself up with the nonsense I've gotten riled up about.

I think when I've been crossed with lil potholes in our wedding planning road, my sensitive (stressed!?) soul has taken to run wild with them - creating flamboyant scenarios in my head that leave me a lot more rage-y than I am in real life. And I'm not quite sure why....why?

I do know, that planning this wedding has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I've never planned a party that brought everyone I hold dear into one place. I am ecstatic we get to share this holy and precious eternal commitment with the people we love.

I realize this now. I need to quit being such a twirp. In 74 days I will become the wife of the sweetest man I know...I need to take a lesson in patience and kindness from him.

No more Bitchy McBitchster here.


  1. I had a similar awareness recently. I think it's just something about planning a wedding that brings out the crazy in us all :) It's gonna be all good pretty soon!!

  2. Love it.

    Wedding planning IS fun. If it wasn't, what the hell are we doing and why are we blogging about it? It IS a blessing and we should treat it as such.

    These are the thoughts I've had swirling in my head but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. So thanks for this. Great post!

  3. I think it's very wise of you to distinguish between the drama that other people bring to the situation and the drama created by stress dancing in your head. Keeping the big picture in mind will serve you well.

    Not that there won't be bitch-worthy incidents. If someone questions the way you've chosen to do something, you say, "Yes we considered several approaches and decided on this one. We hope you enjoy it." And you smile a beautiful smile and change the subject. They might just be making a comment, rather than lodging a critique. Or they might in fact be crazy-rude. Doesn't matter. Either it go. Trust your choices.

    This isn't to say that you can't complain about anything. That's not very realistic. Venting can be therapeutic (and occasionally entertinaing).

    But the positive spin is a good trait to learn. Your wedding isn't the last opportunity that people will feel the need to comment and make suggestions. You'll go through the same thing if you buy a house. And pregnant women will tell you that total STRANGERS approach them and feel the need to make comments and suggestions...

  4. Here, here! I have nothing to say because you've said it all.

  5. Great post - I couldn't agree with you more and echo your sentiments! We are getting married the same day so I'm feeling the pinch right now too but think we are taking off on a spontaneous trip to Key West this weekend b/c we just need to enjoy this time and stop wedding planning!

  6. Well I am a pessimist, so I can't even imagine what ditching bitching would feel like.

    But I will say every time I wrote about something that was troubling me, I immediately felt freed of that worry, even if I had worried about it for months. Writing about it seemed to set it free. Or perhaps all the nice comments I received made me more confident. Whatever the case, sometimes venting is helpful.

    Good luck.

  7. Wedding planning: it's fun, it's stressful - it's a bad romance. Love this post, so true! Stay positive, but it's ok if you freak a little too along the way!!

  8. Thanks, I needed this. I've been feeling this way a lot about planning our wedding and I've been trying so hard to tell myself to shut up but it is SO hard. This just makes me think more that I really need to not try and make issues where there aren't any- esp. when it comes to others opinions. They're just that and I don't need to get so upset about them.



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