family dynamics

our little fam

I am still struggling to understand how the dynamic of our family is about to be completely revamped in the next few days. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea of having a son. A second child. A newborn. Another soul to live for...provide for...love.  How is this going to change everything? Because I'm positive that everything is about to change...everything. Just like when Clara arrived...and our world was never the same. It became a more glorious place for us...it's been the best 99 weeks of my life with that little sweetie pie (oh yea...she is 99 weeks old this week!) 

I wonder how wiped out I am going to be. I wonder about being sleep deprived with a needy newborn and yet needing/wanting to play and care for my almost 2 year old.  I wonder if she will understand...probably not. I wonder how I will manage this by myself when my husband is working at his current long term sub job everyday.  I wonder how I will get two little ones in the car at the same time to run an errand...logistically...how does that work?  I wonder if this will be the last time I will be pregnant?  Oh...and don't even get me wondering about how I am going to study for my surgical boards that take place in a couple short months...I have to pass them or I don't have a job when I graduate.

Oh life - you are so dang colorful.  And mysterious.  And wonderful.

99 weeks old!

PS:  my mother comes today from Arizona.  She is here to care for Clara while Tommy and I are at the hospital this week welcoming our little guy!  I've been praying that I wouldn't go into labor before my mom gets here as we had NO plan B with what to do with Clara.  (Though I guess that's not entirely true...as one of the nice young mother's in my apt complex offered to take Clara if we have an emergency...which was very very sweet...don't you think!?)