I just had to let you guys know what's going down after this.
Recap:
- My Guy and I aren't "officially" engaged...
-We've been planning our wedding anyway because there is a narrow window of wedding opportunity between med school graduation and moving away to residency
-The date is set: May 30th, 2010
-The venue chosen: ski lodge in Flagstaff, AZ
-Our families, and most of our friends don't know we are planning a wedding as we aren't officially engaged yet....so I guess you could consider it a secret?
-One of my first cousins just announced his engagement and wedding date...May 30th, 2010 (as in...the same date as ours...awesome)
-This entire side of the family (with only a couple exceptions) live in the midwest and my cousin's wedding will be held in Chicago...so we can nearly gaurantee that my family will be attending his wedding. Not mine. Ehh.
I spent an entire evening of stressing, freaking and kindof being pissy at My Guy once we heard of my cousins plans. I kept thinking that they "beat" us to it. So, we talked about moving our date...changing our location...in circles and circles. Funny how a night of sleep can put things into better perspective. I found myself calm and collected this morning.
We need to be fair to ourselves. We'll keep our date. We initially chose it because it's the perfect date for us. And really, with the psycho schedule I'll have next year, it's a date we can't really fudge on. (I will be moving to a different state every month for 10 months beginning in the fall. Please pray that I survive!) Also, we already booked our dream venue which typically books out at least 18 months in advance.
We'll miss having those family members with us, but the celebration will go on!
We are staying put. Crisis resolved.
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I'm glad that you guys figured it out with out melting down too badly. I've been to a wedding at snow bowl, and from what I remember, I think that you guys will be glad that you didn't change your location. It's so beautiful up there.
ReplyDeleteI had to chuckle a little when I started reading this though, because I literally just got done writing something about being technically, but not officially, engaged.
hey girl... glad you guys sorted through it, and stuck with your original plan. Trust me when I say that those 'crises' will likely continue, but now they will just seem like roadbumps, having succesfully managed your first one!! No matter what, this is your wedding, and you have to do what is best for the two of you!!
ReplyDeletegood decision lady! right on! Excited that you guys have booked the location.
ReplyDeleteWill your family be upset that you set the same date as your cousin? Since they dont know about your plans right now they could see it as poor taste- so just be prepared to deal with all of that. In the end, you have to do what makes you happy! I just know that my family would flip if something like that happened. But if you've already put down deposits and booked your venue-id really hate to see your lose that money -and lose your dream venue ! Ugh, the stress of it all!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you guys decided to stick with your original plan. I've gotta point out though that if you're actively planning a wedding (and you are), the you ARE engaged. The proposal and/or ring isn't going to change that, so perhaps you should consider going ahead and making it public knowledge?
ReplyDeleteAlso, be prepared for the possibility that your cousin and his fiance are going to be just as upset as you were when you finally do make your announcement, because now it looks as though YOU'RE taking THEIR date, rather than the other way around.
And finally, on the bright side, look at it this way: If you "lose" a number of family members to your cousin's wedding, that means you don't have to pay for them to be at yours!
that's a really tough one. good for you for sticking with the date that works best for you. Keeping your wedding true to yourselves is so important and with family pressures can be really difficult to do.
ReplyDeletei'm glad you figured out what makes the most sense for you two. here's to hoping you don't have too many more crises along the way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you've figured it out and are sticking with what is important to you. it's really about the two of you anyways.
ReplyDeleteI agree with surprise wedding though - you are engaged. and if you want your family to go, you need to tell them. if you change your mind and decide that this is eloping, then who cares. but, once you wrote that check for the venue, setting the date, it's time to make sure your loved one's are going to make it.
I am going to sound like a total jerk but at least it will save you a little money on guests and save your family who is conflicted a little on airfare, depending on how wealthy they are that could be a really serious expense. Good for you for a calm resolution!
ReplyDeleteMoving all the time like that sounds tough, is that a typical program? Sounds crazy!
I'm glad you worked out what was best for the two of you... despite what others might chime in. It'll happen, but as long as you're firm it what you want... it'll all be okay.
ReplyDeleteOmg! I know I am super late on posting this, I know you'll forgive me, but Ah! That is like, out of a movie or something! Geez! I'm glad you resolved everything. I can't WAIT to tell you all of my horrible wedding ordeals that have come up lately.
ReplyDelete